Tag Archives: The Eiffel Tower

Just Another Quote Post

Hello, Friends! It’s time, once again, for me to post some of the random quotes that have accumulated over the last while again! Well, those that we remember anyway. I hope you enjoy them as much as we think we do. Much love!

Krans my Krans”.
Ian Eagleheart Kay

Oh Eagle! You say such things, such things composed of words, words that form sentences,
and eventually, these sentences form paragraphs and in the end, isn’t that what really matters?

Lourens Loki Corleone

“Fellatio Gonzales!”
Lourens Corleone

Nick and Jesse

“My friend sold my Playstation 3 for drug money… he gave me the drugs though.”
Bob Flinderflap

“Once there were many in my wolf pack, now I am alone in my wolf pack…”
Ian Eagleheart Kay

The Eiffel Tower

Lourens Loki Corleone

“Nick…there is a monster on our roof.”
Lourens Corleone

“The card machine doesn’t work? Where are we, Russia?!”
Dennis Krige

“Babe, if you had to die, I’d totally be a necrophiliac!”
Adele Babyzef Kloppers

Dennis Krige

“Cool boob, bro.”
Lourens Corleone

“Eat my fury!”
Dennis Krige

“You started porking?!”
Adele Babyzef Kloppers

“Guano Caves? That’s the good shit.”
Lourens Corleone

Corleone and Babyzef


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Wild West Scribes

-Lourens Loki Corleone

Hello, friends! Well, as you know by now myself, Nick “Dragon” Frost and Ian “Eagleheart” Kay have upgraded the Eiffel Tower, and a new era has dawned. While our new house will be less of a frat house, we promise that the sacrifice will have many benefits…

That said, the blog is finally being moved to www.thewildwest.co.za early May and I have been brainstorming about ways in which we can interact more personally with our readers… besides partying with them of course.

So, what I suggest is a new Category on the site entitled “Scribes”. This section is not for us to fill with content, but for all of you lazy bitches. Have you written any articles, poems or short stories, taken any photographs or recorded any video but you don’t know where to post them? Send them to us along with your name, and we will post it under the Scribes section for you, either under your name or anonymously; whichever you prefer.

Over the next week or two I will be collecting content, and when the blog gets moved to the new domain I will unveil the new section for your reading pleasure.

I hope you all enjoy The Wild West blog as much as we do.

Much love.

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The Art of Burlesque

A while back we wrote about our travels into deepest darkest Observatory to watch Roxy de light, Somerset’s very own Burlesque starlet, do her thing with the rest of the Black Orchid Troupe. Here is the video we linked to for those who haven’t seen it yet. It’s totally worth the watch, whether you’re male or female.

In other news, we’re moving out this week. Yes, we have made the greatest memories over the past year in the Eiffel Tower, but it now seems fit that we move on to greener pastures. Cough.
The humble abode that many have come to know and love will be sorely missed by both its residents and those who’ve frequented its hallowed halls since last April, but the legend will never die.

The time has come for the Eiffel Tower Part II. Stay tuned for more.

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Season 1 Finale – A Night In White

A Prologue:

What a tale we have weaved over the last few months, gracious reader! You have been there right from the beginning of this particular era, and I would like to thank you all for allowing us to share our tales with you.
The Weekend We Almost Took Over The World you have laughed with us, cried with us and more often than not you have not known what the hell we are talking about.

The last few months have seen the birth of iamlovechild, but it has seen the birth of something, perhaps even more beautiful… the forging of a friendship circle that can actually more accurately be described as the most fantastic, unique and loving dysfunctional family I have ever had the pleasure of being part of.
A haven for lost souls! To each and every one of you I send a little piece of my soul, if such a thing exists… but we will save
that debate for another day.

That being said, let us start this entry somewhere very unexpected:

Sunday Night, Midnight.

Nick Frost and myself were standing in the kitchen of The Eiffel Tower, having a warm beverage and reflecting on the weekend that we had just escaped from. The whole of Sunday was spent stationary, recovering from a night that just blew our minds.

So, there we were, casually sipping some tea. We were feeling quite apprehensive, as it dawned on us that The Night In White had come and gone after months of talking and weeks of planning. We were sitting on the tail-end of an event that was the climatic fruition of a mad-scientist idea we had a few months ago.

Suddenly… it was over, and we knew what had to be done next but just for a moment, there was nothing to do… nothing to plan… nothing to stress or worry or fight about.

Nick turned to me and said: “Dude… this feels like the end of a season on a tv-show.”
And I knew exactly what he meant. A Night In White marked, in our minds, the end of a chapter for
iamlovechild but also suggested the renewal of another season.
This combination of sadness for good times past and an excitement for even better times yet to come, was a really strange feeling. It dawned on us that these were some of the best months we have ever had and that inevitably, the best is yet to come. With new and old friendships forged tightly, the next chapter in
iamlovechild also marks the start of a next chapter in our lives…

Season 2 is here, my friends. What can you all expect? The usual things that come with the renewal of a season! Bigger budget, more guest stars, crazier parties, drama, love, loss, laughter… all the things that make it worth while following! This will all end in the next climatic event – all I can say is, prepare to Paint The Town Red!
Even then it is not the end, my friends… Season 3 is already on the table and as Freddie Mercury once sang:

“It’s a kind of magic”

This brings me back to…

Lourens Coleone signing off…

a night in white

a night in white


Hey… it’s me! It’s me Nick! I’m back! Hello!
So I’m going to be writing a little something-something about the Night in White party. Why? Because I gotta. Okay, lameness, over.

Saturday started with a rude invasion of my privacy as my room was bombarded with Eiffel Tower residents and boarders all wanting to get their hands on the naked pile of bones also known in and around the area as, the Frostical. But alas (for them), I had anticipated this the night before, and had slept clothed. And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those pesky kids. Sorry, lost my train of thought. Choo-choo.

So I got up and walked/stumbled on over to where the action was happening. And happening it was. There is no madness like the lovechild pre-(insert-big-event-here) madness. It’s really another ball game. Tread lightly my beloved reader.
Just the week before we were on the verge of covering Kyle Solms and Lauren Hochfelden in KY-Jelly and getting them to engage in a bottomless battle to the death… But there are laws.

That being said, we eventually pulled through for the greater good, and everyone still remains as good-a-friends as ever.
The week leading up to the party was a mad rush of trying to juggle work and event co-ordination, finding various essential items that should’ve been organized months in advance, and attempting to maintain a stable working environment without cutting eachother’s thoats in our sleep. Needless to say it was a lot of fun, but not something
anyone should just stumble into without utter dedication, prior consideration and a respecful amount of balls.

The day of the party, for me at least, was almost relaxed. Yes, you read that right. While the rest of the iamlovechild crew busied themselves at the venue (Binellis Cocktail Lounge) decorating, complaining and bumming cigarettes, I sat at home engrossed in the internet trying to find out where I’d saved the god damn guest list, updating groups and blogs, and just wasting time in general. This is the way.

Dennis arrived at around 11 o’ clock (completely made-up time, I have no idea when Dennis arrived) and started cleaning up the Eiffel Tower for the inevitable after-party that was undoubtedly going to take place after the Night in White party.
This may not sound like a big deal… but cleaning the Eiffel Tower after two weeks of having no domestic help
whatsoever is a daunting task; if tag-team dish-washing, mass garbage exodus and broken glass removal is your idea of a good time, then by all means, make a turn sometime. Actually, wait, if that’s your idea of a good time, then don’t bother. You’re not my friend.

Once we had accomlished our spring cleaning session, we decided to roll on down to Binellis and see if the plebs were holding it together without us rugged, unshaven, story-telling, denim-overalls-wearing manly men; turns out they were doing fine.
A plethora of activities ensued. Re-arranging furniture, stretching material, using Richard Kuiper’s superior natural stilts to reach elevated plateaus and utilize them for lighting purposes. But blah-blah, I bet you haven’t even read this far. If you have I take my hat off to you, and perhaps more.

Dusk approached faster than we all anticipated and after a few last-minute rushes to a range of shops to request change for the door-float, we finally had lift-off.
Things started out slowly, but built up quickly.

the lovechildren, or so I've heard

the lovechildren, or so I've heard

As soon as Mister Gavin Marshall (session drummer, djembe facilitator and illusionist extraordinairre) arrived, we unloaded the 20+ African Djembe Drums out into the open air at the front entrance of the venue, swung a couple of perspex chairs into a wannabe circle and started committing domestic violence against the drums, hammering away like there was no tomorrow. I stopped ’round about when the fire-spinners arrived and left the drum circle under the pretense that I was going to speak to the guests; the truth, of course, was that without considering prior warm-up routines, I had considerably fucked up my wrist and feared that I would be without its use for the remainder of the evening; but thankfully, I found out that night that alcohol truly does numb the pain. Either that or I’m just hardcore… YOU PICK!

djembe drum madness

djembe drum madness

Inside the venue things were heating up. We had our resident DJ, Mister James Prain, spinnin’ that shit yo all up on the dance flo’, champaigne being served by skimpy-yet-tastefully dressed models (all beautiful), mass-chillage and tarot card reading with acoustical guitar vibes going on in the chill-room upstairs, and a film crew from Boomtown Boys Productions documenting the entire event with their audio-visual prowess. Added to all this mayhem was the fact that everybody had stuck pretty much exactly to the theme – bar a few people (including me) – so looking out over the entire crowd could have caused one snow-blindness… Or flashbacks to the apartheid era.

the knights in white

the knights in white

And then there came a time in the night where I was informed that each core member of iamlovechild would be having there shot at a short interview regarding a certain aspect of the company.
Of course, a production company’s idea of a short interview isn’t quite the same as us normal people’s. Juliette, Kyle and Sylvia talked about how the idea of
iamlovechild came about, Lourens Corleone had a chat with the camera about the structural workings and practical services that iamlovechild offers… and me? I stood in front of the camera for nigh on 45 minutes coming up with quality one-liners such as: “The camera man is trying to pick me up”, “you don’t want to be a hatechild… DO YOU?” and my all time favorite “I am lovechild, so fuck you”. A little harsh I know. But sometimes you have to be really harsh to get a point across. Ask Osama.



Regretably, I missed the rest of the team’s interviews, due to the fact that I was busy being awe-inspired by Gavin Marshall’s fork-bending skills. Damn. I’m not even going to try and explain. Just go and see it.
And then suddenly there was an abrupt change in musical style emitting from the DJ Box, and my sister, Roxanne, took the floor to show everyone how bellydancing is
really done. Belee dat. And dance she did.

my sister, the belly dancer

my sister, the belly dancer

After the belly-dancing there was a considerable amount of acoustic guitar-playing and guest appearances by Jesse Beth, Juliette Starke and Roxy Bayman, as well as Nick Kuiper, Richard Kuiper and Phil Joubert. Yours truly also took part in some of this jamming, but for the most part, I was running around trying to keep everybody happy, and trying to figure out who the drunk Sprinbok supporter was and where he came from… WHO WAS THAT GUY?

the mystery man

the mystery man

Yeah so… The night was amazing in general. Everyone who attended had a great time (so I’ve heard) and the iamlovechild team are hard at work brainstorming for the next one. I won’t give away anything right now. But it will be a one (if not more) up from ‘A Night in White‘, I can promise you that much.

lovechildren in love

lovechildren in love

P.S. I was going to write about the after-party… but decided it probably should not EVER be talked about EVER again. EVER. So… yes.


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Doing Stuff in Isolation

So… if you were a dude stuck in a house with another dude, and you both had, what appeared to be, H1N1, what would you expect to get up to?
Well I can tell you.  Here is a little summary of a couple of the strange antics that The Eiffel Tower has been home to over the last few days.

Zef so Fresh

[Please only try these activities with caution, because we didn’t, and look how we turned out]


  • Xbox LIVE

What you need:

  • an Xbox
  • an ADSL Internet Connection
  • an extremely well thought-out house so that your network cable can snake between the array of obstacles you do or do not have, and find its way to the port at the back of the Xbox
  • Make a Rap Song

What you need:

  • Zef so Fresh
  • An extensive knowledge of profanity
  • Three bored white guys. We talking, like, those couldn’t-be-anything-but-WHITE white guys. (Except for Lourens)
  • D&B and/or Hip Hop beat
  • A Make -shift mic
  • Hot Topic
  • Crazy friends who accept that kind of shit.
  • Read a Book

Nah, we’re just kidding. Who does that?

  • Play Swine-Chicken

What you will need:

  • A convincing and genuinly sick cough
  • A germ-mask (get them at the doctor, or alternatively wrap a white sock around your head)
  • Innocent bystanders to scare ie. small boys in video-stores, beggars, old women in shops, security guards, Nick Kuiper
  • Become Roof Leak Inspectors

What you will need:

  • A leaky roof
  • Loads of expensive sound-equipment to be leaked on
  • Mad looking skills
  • Buckets
  • Not Eat

What you WON’T need:

  • Appetite
  • Food
  • Taste
  • Basic survival instincts
  • Kirsten
  • Dishes
  • Any brain function whatsoever
  • Become a Master Zen-breather

What you will need:

  • Superman breathing skills to maintain NO-COUGH mode
  • Air/O2 (preferably fresh)
  • At least ONE working lung
  • Design Stuff

What wou will need:

  • Photoshop, Corel Draw… Even Paint
  • Hands
  • Looking balls
  • Mad creativity skills yo
  • Learn Cool Edit Pro

What you will need:

  • A perfectly legal copy of Cool Edit Pro acquired from your nearest local retailer
  • Lots of cables. Try tying them in crow’s nests around your chair and through and between your legs for maximum discomfort


I’m 70% Orange Juice!”
Lourens Loki Corleone

“We could totally be rappers!”
Nick Frost

“I’m one stomach bug away from my ideal weight.”
Lourens Loki Corleone

“I HATE the fish!”
Lourens Loki Corleone

Orcwad – pronounced: awkward



  • Wear a hoodie ALL the time. Even when you sleep. It starts feeling like a second house
  • Shower twice a day; dry yourself off with the walls because there are no clean towels (See the lounge-leak section)
  • Stratigically place an oil heater at the centre of the living area
  • ALWAYS answer your door with a mask on
  • Put syrup in your tea/coffee
  • Have coughing wars
  • Find new, innovative meanings for old words
  • Rent Xbox games that don’t work (if it happens again I’m mentioning names)
  • Talk about how sick you are
  • Watch whatever Lourens wants to watch. Don’t question.
  • Harrass the receptionist at the Doctor’s office
  • Collect sick notes
  • Play ‘Magical Shells’ with your medication
  • Drink your cough medicine straight from the bottle… ah… it’s almost like being out.
  • Plot revenge against Frost Manor
  • Don’t die
  • Lose all sense of time
  • Throw up
  • Read a book (we’re still kidding)

So now we draw to the end of our post, and you may be left with the feeling that we are slightly mentally deranged, but we assure you, it’s just the Swine Flu talking… or is it?



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