It is with great honour and pride that I present to you, Lourens Loki Corleone, who has, dutifully, opted to do a write-up on the weekend of my 21st Birthday, considering I can hardly remember it at all. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together…
“Maybe you can just fly back in time and stop your dad from impregnating your mom and see if you still exist…”
The night had finally arrived: the night of Nick’s 21st.
As you all know, the regular crowd celebrated the previous Tuesday, but Friday night was the house party. We were slightly nervous about having the event at the house, seeing as the Facebook event alone indicated that over 70 people were ‘attending’, and over 160 were ‘maybe attending’ ,but, in the spirit of the Eiffel Tower, we opened the doors, turned on the music… and we waited.
We didn’t wait long.
I usually get home last, and when I finally arrived from Cape Town (Nick picked me up at the train station, having used my car for the day), Nick had already bought us some drinks and the music was already setting the mood. Kevin was also here, one of our friends from Cape Town that we don’t see as often as we’d like, as well as Ian and Mike.
By the time I was ready for the night, Kyle and a few from his gang had shown up.
“I would teach the ostridge, ninja.”
Nick Frost has known Kyle for years, but I met him last December for the first time, along with Juliette, or Julz – as we like to call her. Since then we have become very good friends, followed immediately with our core groups merging, forming a “lovechild” of sorts.
This group includes me, Nick, Mike, Kyle, Clara, Sylvia, Andrea and Julz. Kyle always jokes that visiting us is like watching an episode of [insert corny voice here] “The Nick & Lourens Show” … sometimes, that’s exactly what it seems like! But… where were we? Oh yes…
By just after 8pm, people were streaming in, a few whom I didn’t know at all. I took them to be Nick’s school friends. They were.
Very soon, the party was pumping! I took up my usual position behind the bar and proceeded to watch over the events happening at the party, and to make up new and exciting ways to amuse myself whilst DJing. I came up with a sport so revolutionary and so entertaining that it needs to be on ESPN. It’s called, “Nick Fishing”.
The object of the game is to see if you can lure Nick back into the area that he just left by playing a Blink 182 song. Oh, and one more detail: In the lounge, Family Guy has to be on TV, to make the decision even more difficult for him.
The results are hilarious. The look on his face as he just leaves the lounge, realises Family Guy is showing, but then hears a Blink song behind him is like telling someone he has just won $1 000 000, but that they only have five minutes to live. Priceless.
Nick’s dad showed up at some point during the night, along with Jess’s parents – all of whom put on their party shoes and joined in the celebrations! The Eiffel Tower just has that effect on people, I guess! Good…good…
“Hi. My name’s Anfony. It’s spelt wif an ‘F’.”
At some point during the night I realized that I was left in charge. Now, this is a responsibility that nobody wants to be left with, especially at a friend’s 21st, and especially at your own house! Though, to be fair, it was probably my turn – Nick Kuiper often has the honors!
It was at this moment, after 12AM somewhere, that the police showed up and asked us to keep it down. I didn’t speak to them personally, I was only made aware of this after the event, but I’m pretty sure it involved Phil shouting at them and/or Jess Johnstone and Jess Beth talking to them, ALL of which are BAD ideas in general considering the mental state of all three of the aforementioned persons.
We turned the music down (a bit) and continued with the party!
The speeches were short and sweet, although a tad slurred, with Nick’s sister, Rox, Kyle and Jess Beth having their say.
Shortly after, Roxanne and a few pop-tarts assembled in the lounge and caused quite a ruckus, and the rest of the people gathered around the bar, pool table and in The Cave.
The rest of the night was a blur… but a very good one!
“Yeah, I’ll drug her…”
We woke up to an ocean of people still at the house – all couches and beds were occupied, as well as a few spots under the pool table. I wish I was kidding.
I was actually quite amused at how instinct still makes us look for some kind of shelter, even if it isn’t really required. The only thing that sets us apart from animals is the arrogance to suggest that we aren’t animals ourselves!
“I love reading splurbs. I love the word splurb.”
Lourens Loki Corleone
A few of us decided to make a mission to McDonalds, shortly after everyone was awake. Myself, Nick, Jess, Kails and Kyle jumped into a car, and were off! One supersized MacFeast later (oh my god I am such a pig) we felt slightly better. Then, in a moment of clarity, we knew what it was that we needed.
An Xbox 360 Pro.
Yes. So, after a bit of convincing from Nick, we decided to do it immediately, before we change our minds. After about 5 minutes of shopping around the Somerset Mall, we made our purchase…it turned out to be one of the best decisions we made for the house to this date. The decision is only beaten by our decision to ban all spiders from the house under threat of death. We don’t associate with their kind.
“What are you doing? You’re not distracting us at all!”
Lourens Loki Corleone
We raced home to test it out… Burnout Paradise. Mmmm…
This was short-lived, as we realized we have to start preparing ourselves for the evening: an informal Texas Hold’ em poker night at Frost Manor, the residence of Dax and Marc Frost, the other two infamous members of D-Frost.
Kaydee, Deon, Kails, Richard, Rory, Clive and Justin joined us as well.
Frost Manor, since it has been populated, has become the mock nemesis of The Eiffel Tower. The rivalry gets quite intense sometimes; with sabotages and stealth missions being waged at each other semi-frequently.
We have recently acquired an item of aesthetic value from Frost Manor, after the theft of our big yellow ‘Detour’ sign, which was hung up in their flat for all to appreciate.
Stalemate, so far. Frost Manor is a worthy opponent; it really is a fantastic flat. High ceilings, bedrooms the size of small moons, and nice furniture.
Touché, Frost Manor, touché! We love you guys!
“Smooth like a razorblade, shark like butter.”
The poker night turned out to be very entertaining! The drinks were flowing and the people were all in a good mood and Nick did pretty well and made it to the final poker round, at which point he was eliminated from the game. We used this time to instigate our stealth mission against the Frost Manor, which was a great success… our first attempt to acquire a big green beanbag from their flat failed miserably though!
The fun and games ended in the wee hours of the morning, and we proceeded home for some rest and relaxation…which always seems short-lived in the Eiffel Tower. Luckily, we prefer it that way.
Sleep when you’re dead!
“Is that why I can’t move my arms?”
Lourens Loki Corleone
The next day, Sunday, was almost perfect. Since the Xbox was shiny and new, we obviously spent a lot of the time just messing around with it, but the best part of the Sunday was the usual crowd that all came over to chill with us at various points during the day, all contributing in their own way to what makes the Eiffel Tower so special – the people. Little Lauren and Amelia graced us with their presence, along with Matt, Phil, Mike, Dennis and the rest of the crazy, crazy people that we don’t just call friends, but family.
“Man, if I had a lion, I would paint it black and white zebra stripes. It would be the coolest lion in the world, dude!”
Oh, and as a side-note, we have a new theory on why Nick never gains any weight. We suspect that he has a flesh-eating virus that, instead of being parasitic, thrives in a completely symbiotic state, only eating enough so it counters any food eaten by Nick at any given time. It may sound crazy. It may sound mad. But it’s a theory. Just like Gravity. That’s what counts.
“Oh my God, death by bass.”