Tag Archives: Nick Frost

Just Another Quote Post

Hello, Friends! It’s time, once again, for me to post some of the random quotes that have accumulated over the last while again! Well, those that we remember anyway. I hope you enjoy them as much as we think we do. Much love!

Krans my Krans”.
Ian Eagleheart Kay

Oh Eagle! You say such things, such things composed of words, words that form sentences,
and eventually, these sentences form paragraphs and in the end, isn’t that what really matters?

Lourens Loki Corleone

“Fellatio Gonzales!”
Lourens Corleone

Nick and Jesse

“My friend sold my Playstation 3 for drug money… he gave me the drugs though.”
Bob Flinderflap

“Once there were many in my wolf pack, now I am alone in my wolf pack…”
Ian Eagleheart Kay

The Eiffel Tower

Lourens Loki Corleone

“Nick…there is a monster on our roof.”
Lourens Corleone

“The card machine doesn’t work? Where are we, Russia?!”
Dennis Krige

“Babe, if you had to die, I’d totally be a necrophiliac!”
Adele Babyzef Kloppers

Dennis Krige

“Cool boob, bro.”
Lourens Corleone

“Eat my fury!”
Dennis Krige

“You started porking?!”
Adele Babyzef Kloppers

“Guano Caves? That’s the good shit.”
Lourens Corleone

Corleone and Babyzef


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Filed under The Chronicles

Doing Stuff in Isolation

So… if you were a dude stuck in a house with another dude, and you both had, what appeared to be, H1N1, what would you expect to get up to?
Well I can tell you.  Here is a little summary of a couple of the strange antics that The Eiffel Tower has been home to over the last few days.

Zef so Fresh

[Please only try these activities with caution, because we didn’t, and look how we turned out]


  • Xbox LIVE

What you need:

  • an Xbox
  • an ADSL Internet Connection
  • an extremely well thought-out house so that your network cable can snake between the array of obstacles you do or do not have, and find its way to the port at the back of the Xbox
  • Make a Rap Song

What you need:

  • Zef so Fresh
  • An extensive knowledge of profanity
  • Three bored white guys. We talking, like, those couldn’t-be-anything-but-WHITE white guys. (Except for Lourens)
  • D&B and/or Hip Hop beat
  • A Make -shift mic
  • Hot Topic
  • Crazy friends who accept that kind of shit.
  • Read a Book

Nah, we’re just kidding. Who does that?

  • Play Swine-Chicken

What you will need:

  • A convincing and genuinly sick cough
  • A germ-mask (get them at the doctor, or alternatively wrap a white sock around your head)
  • Innocent bystanders to scare ie. small boys in video-stores, beggars, old women in shops, security guards, Nick Kuiper
  • Become Roof Leak Inspectors

What you will need:

  • A leaky roof
  • Loads of expensive sound-equipment to be leaked on
  • Mad looking skills
  • Buckets
  • Not Eat

What you WON’T need:

  • Appetite
  • Food
  • Taste
  • Basic survival instincts
  • Kirsten
  • Dishes
  • Any brain function whatsoever
  • Become a Master Zen-breather

What you will need:

  • Superman breathing skills to maintain NO-COUGH mode
  • Air/O2 (preferably fresh)
  • At least ONE working lung
  • Design Stuff

What wou will need:

  • Photoshop, Corel Draw… Even Paint
  • Hands
  • Looking balls
  • Mad creativity skills yo
  • Learn Cool Edit Pro

What you will need:

  • A perfectly legal copy of Cool Edit Pro acquired from your nearest local retailer
  • Lots of cables. Try tying them in crow’s nests around your chair and through and between your legs for maximum discomfort


I’m 70% Orange Juice!”
Lourens Loki Corleone

“We could totally be rappers!”
Nick Frost

“I’m one stomach bug away from my ideal weight.”
Lourens Loki Corleone

“I HATE the fish!”
Lourens Loki Corleone

Orcwad – pronounced: awkward



  • Wear a hoodie ALL the time. Even when you sleep. It starts feeling like a second house
  • Shower twice a day; dry yourself off with the walls because there are no clean towels (See the lounge-leak section)
  • Stratigically place an oil heater at the centre of the living area
  • ALWAYS answer your door with a mask on
  • Put syrup in your tea/coffee
  • Have coughing wars
  • Find new, innovative meanings for old words
  • Rent Xbox games that don’t work (if it happens again I’m mentioning names)
  • Talk about how sick you are
  • Watch whatever Lourens wants to watch. Don’t question.
  • Harrass the receptionist at the Doctor’s office
  • Collect sick notes
  • Play ‘Magical Shells’ with your medication
  • Drink your cough medicine straight from the bottle… ah… it’s almost like being out.
  • Plot revenge against Frost Manor
  • Don’t die
  • Lose all sense of time
  • Throw up
  • Read a book (we’re still kidding)

So now we draw to the end of our post, and you may be left with the feeling that we are slightly mentally deranged, but we assure you, it’s just the Swine Flu talking… or is it?



Filed under The Chronicles

Play? Play. Play!

It is with great honour and pride that I present to you, Lourens Loki Corleone, who has, dutifully, opted to do a write-up on the weekend of my 21st Birthday, considering I can hardly remember it at all. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together…
“Maybe you can just fly back in time and stop your dad from impregnating your mom and see if you still exist…”
Jonty Espin

The night had finally arrived: the night of Nick’s 21st.

The 21st Party

As you all know, the regular crowd celebrated the previous Tuesday, but Friday night was the house party. We were slightly nervous about having the event at the house, seeing as the Facebook event  alone indicated that over 70 people were ‘attending’, and over 160 were ‘maybe attending’ ,but, in the spirit of the Eiffel Tower, we opened the doors, turned on the music… and we waited.

We didn’t wait long.

I usually get home last, and when I finally arrived from Cape Town (Nick picked me up at the train station, having used my car for the day), Nick had already bought us some drinks and the music was already setting the mood. Kevin was also here, one of our friends from Cape Town that we don’t see as often as we’d like, as well as Ian and Mike.
By the time I was ready for the night, Kyle and a few from his gang had shown up.

“I would teach the ostridge, ninja.”
Loki Swanepoel

some of the gang

Nick Frost has known Kyle for years, but I met him last December for the first time, along with Juliette, or Julz – as we like to call her. Since then we have become very good friends, followed immediately with our core groups merging, forming a “lovechild” of sorts.
This group includes me, Nick, Mike, Kyle, Clara, Sylvia, Andrea and Julz. Kyle always jokes that visiting us is like watching an episode of [insert corny voice here] “The Nick & Lourens Show” … sometimes, that’s exactly what it seems like! But… where were we? Oh yes…

By just after 8pm, people were streaming in, a few whom I didn’t know at all. I took them to be Nick’s school friends. They were.
Very soon, the party was pumping! I took up my usual position behind the bar and proceeded to watch over the events happening at the party, and to make up new and exciting ways to amuse myself whilst DJing. I came up with a sport so revolutionary and so entertaining that it needs to be on ESPN. It’s called, “Nick Fishing”.
The object of the game is to see if you can lure Nick back into the area that he just left by playing a Blink 182 song. Oh, and one more detail: In the lounge, Family Guy has to be on TV, to make the decision even more difficult for him.
The results are hilarious. The look on his face as he just leaves the lounge, realises Family Guy is showing, but then hears a Blink song behind him is like telling someone he has just won $1 000 000, but that they only have five minutes to live. Priceless.

rox and loki

Nick’s dad showed up at some point during the night, along with Jess’s parents – all of whom put on their party shoes and joined in the celebrations! The Eiffel Tower just has that effect on people, I guess! Good…good

“Hi. My name’s Anfony. It’s spelt wif an ‘F’.”
Nick Frost

At some point during the night I realized that I was left in charge. Now, this is a responsibility that nobody wants to be left with, especially at a friend’s 21st, and especially at your own house! Though, to be fair, it was probably my turn – Nick Kuiper often has the honors!
It was at this moment, after 12AM somewhere, that the police showed up and asked us to keep it down. I didn’t speak to them personally, I was only made aware of this after the event, but I’m pretty sure it involved Phil shouting at them and/or Jess Johnstone and Jess Beth talking to them, ALL of which are BAD ideas in general considering the mental state of all three of the aforementioned persons.
We turned the music down (a bit) and continued with the party!
The speeches were short and sweet, although a tad slurred, with Nick’s sister, Rox, Kyle and Jess Beth having their say.

jesse, rox and nick

Shortly after, Roxanne and a few pop-tarts assembled in the lounge and caused quite a ruckus, and the rest of the people gathered around the bar, pool table and in The Cave.
The rest of the night was a blur… but a very good one!

“Yeah, I’ll drug her…”

the view from inside The Cave

We woke up to an ocean of people still at the house – all couches and beds were occupied, as well as a few spots under the pool table. I wish I was kidding.
I was actually quite amused at how instinct still makes us look for some kind of shelter, even if it isn’t really required. The only thing that sets us apart from animals is the arrogance to suggest that we aren’t animals ourselves!

“I love reading splurbs. I love the word splurb.”
Lourens Loki Corleone

A few of us decided to make a mission to McDonalds, shortly after everyone was awake. Myself, Nick, Jess, Kails and Kyle jumped into a car, and were off! One supersized MacFeast later (oh my god I am such a pig) we felt slightly better. Then, in a moment of clarity, we knew what it was that we needed.
An Xbox 360 Pro.

xbox 360 pro
Yes. So, after a bit of convincing from Nick, we decided to do it immediately, before we change our minds. After about 5 minutes of shopping around the Somerset Mall, we made our purchase…it turned out to be one of the best decisions we made for the house to this date. The decision is only beaten by our decision to ban all spiders from the house under threat of death. We don’t associate with their kind.

“What are you doing? You’re not distracting us at all!”
Lourens Loki Corleone

We raced home to test it out… Burnout Paradise. Mmmm…
This was short-lived, as we realized we have to start preparing ourselves for the evening: an informal Texas Hold’ em poker night at Frost Manor, the residence of Dax and Marc Frost, the other two infamous members of D-Frost.
Kaydee, Deon, Kails, Richard, Rory, Clive and Justin joined us as well.
Frost Manor, since it has been populated, has become the mock nemesis of The Eiffel Tower. The rivalry gets quite intense sometimes; with sabotages and stealth missions being waged at each other semi-frequently.
We have recently acquired an item of aesthetic value from Frost Manor, after the theft of our big yellow ‘Detour’ sign, which was hung up in their flat for all to appreciate.
Stalemate, so far. Frost Manor is a worthy opponent; it really is a fantastic flat. High ceilings, bedrooms the size of small moons, and nice furniture.
Touché, Frost Manor, touché! We love you guys!

“Smooth like a razorblade, shark like butter.”
Nick Frost

The poker night turned out to be very entertaining! The drinks were flowing and the people were all in a good mood and Nick did pretty well and made it to the final poker round, at which point he was eliminated from the game. We used this time to instigate our stealth mission against the Frost Manor, which was a great success… our first attempt to acquire a big green beanbag from their flat failed miserably though!
The fun and games ended in the wee hours of the morning, and we proceeded home for some rest and relaxation…which always seems short-lived in the Eiffel Tower. Luckily, we prefer it that way.
Sleep when you’re dead!

“Is that why I can’t move my arms?”
Lourens Loki Corleone

The next day, Sunday, was almost perfect. Since the Xbox was shiny and new, we obviously spent a lot of the time just messing around with it, but the best part of the Sunday was the usual crowd that all came over to chill with us at various points during the day, all contributing in their own way to what makes the Eiffel Tower so special – the people. Little Lauren and Amelia graced us with their presence, along with Matt, Phil, Mike, Dennis and the rest of the crazy, crazy people that we don’t just call friends, but family.


“Man, if I had a lion, I would paint it black and white zebra stripes. It would be the coolest lion in the world, dude!”
Loki Swanepoel

Oh, and as a side-note, we have a new theory on why Nick never gains any weight. We suspect that he has a flesh-eating virus that, instead of being parasitic, thrives in a completely symbiotic state, only eating enough so it counters any food eaten by Nick at any given time. It may sound crazy. It may sound mad. But it’s a theory. Just like Gravity. That’s what counts.

“Oh my God, death by bass.”
Jonty Espin


Filed under The Chronicles

My 21st Birthday

So. I am, at last, of age.
Just wanted to give a little post about what I did on the actual day of my birthday this year (being May 19th).

One of the most common things you will hear when you have a birthday, is the question: so, how does it feel? I’ve got a little something to say about this. Just a little rant in keeping with the feel of my usual pieces.

How do I feel? Well, I’m not sure I feel different at all really. I woke up and lay gazing dumbly at my duvet for what felt like hours before I remembered that it was my birthday. But, um, other than that, I would suppose that, considering I am physically older now (as I am every new morning) there’s almost no difference in the way I ‘feel’ and if their were, I would rather you not bring it up, because it would most likely be negative.

But aside from that, I was made breakfast in the morning by none other than my house-mates Lourens and Kirsten, both of whom had made the extra effort of getting up earlier than I do (not hard). You guys rock! Mad Props.
Needless to say, I didn’t eat any of it because I struggle to eat when I’ve just woken up; but it’s the thought that counts, and it was a well cooked thought I’m sure. 😉

After that I hopped into the car with my home-boy and girl, Richard and Nikita (respectively) and went on my way to work.

That day at work, just after lunch I went down to the bottle-store just outside Stellenbosch with Dax, Marc and Richard, and after a brief yet entertaining chat to the cashier about whether we were of age or not (I still got it obviously) we walked out with a case of beer, a bunch (official collective noun) of brutal bruit (bleh) and a couple bottles of Champagne, pronounced: Sham-pag-nay in my home language.

When I arrived back at the office I found out I had a pretty important meeting scheduled, but I also found out that the meeting was being held in Stellenbosch itself, at a little place called: The Blue Orange. Awesome. So off we (Nikita and myself) went to drink cappuccino (and later, beer) at the Blue Orange, with our Marketing Manager, Juan, International Brand Manager, Laura, and Acquisition Coordinator, Tanya, while talking of all things important and vital.

When we arrived back at the office I e-mailed everyone and told them to get themselves drinks downstairs… This is more-or-less where the festivities really began. We all had a few drinks in the canteen for a half hour or so before people started declaring the end of the work day, and we all went home.

MXit. What a cool place to work. 🙂

I got home a while later and was soon met by a hoard of people. Love it. We chilled for a little while, took a hike up to The Cave and talked about the night’s events ahead. It should be fun. But first things first.

Me and Pierre left the others at the house and went to pick my sister up, after which we went to my beloved mother’s house for dinner. It was good seeing the fan-damily (damn-family?) again. It’s amazing how little you see your parents after you move out. Only now do I fully appreciate just exactly what parents do for their kids. I NEVER want kids. Especially if they’re like me. 🙂

Before we had dinner my mom got up and said a little speech, but only after I’d threatened to displace her if she pulled the whole ‘tears-thing’. Regardless, there were a few tears on her behalf, and to stop myself getting choked up I convinced myself that she was only crying because I’m still alive.

Love you Zelda!

After the little Meet the Parents episode we got into my sister’s car and sped down to old bridge (I was late) because Kyle had just informed me via MXit that:

“You’re late! People think you aren’t coming, I’m holding it together by the seems!”

When I got to Old Bridge I was enthusiastically greeted by a crowd of my best and most close friends; the coolest group of individuals any one could ever hope to meet or get to know. There are way to many to name here, but they all know who they are.

And so we partied. Not really much I can say about it. You know how it goes. It was a week night so some people left a bit early for my liking, but that’s completely understandable. Once we had thinned the group down to a movable mass, we all made a unanimous decision to head over to Nameless (see previous posts).

By this stage of the night I was struggling to do things really, and thinking back on it now, I know I had a good time, I just can’t, for the life of me, figure out why or what I did. I know lots of photo’s were taken. I managed to find ONE of them.

nick and pole

Yeah. Well, believe it or not, this is not the first (nor the last) time I have experimented with poll-dancing. I am actually quite adept at it too.

Nameless after that was a blur, but strangely enough I remember returning home with a car or two filled with people, all of whom ended up partying at the house until around 5AM. Good times. And I didn’t fall asleep ONCE. Or pass-out!

Anyway, just keeping you up to date with the initial 21st celebration. Stay tuned for the next post where the real party happened.



Filed under The Chronicles