Tag Archives: eiffel tower

Love / Magic

-Lourens Loki Corleone

It’s been too long, faithful readers! Winter has come and- well, it’s still here, so I’m not quite sure where I was going with that. Oh yes! Time.

I’m sure many of you are still grieving over the Eiffel Tower, but make no mistake, the kinship and spirit of adventure that we all held dear is still very much alive. The Summer Season is heading towards us at a rapid pace. You ain’t seen nothing yet!

So, yes… There are many activities (so many activities) planned but while we’ve all been in a hibernation things have started to thaw, and what better way to shake of the chill than a fantastic night at Madame Zingara’s! This year it was time for the Love Magic Tour. I booked two tickets about a month ago for myself and Adele Babyzef Corleone as it was a big date for us. When the day finally came we couldn’t have been more excited.

Our friend and pseudo-sibling Roxy had confessed to us how thoroughly she had enjoyed it and so, naturally, we took her word for it. (I hope she doesn’t mind me stealing a few of her photos, to mix in with a few of ours!)

We arrived at Victoria around 6PM on the night of the show – Victoria being one of the last remaining mirror tents in the world, of course… and what a sight to behold! Built around Victoria was a makeshift shanty-town, complete with a shebeen where we promptly grabbed a drink. It was cold, but the shelter and heating was plentiful. Colourful characters were crawling out of the woodwork, but we didn’t know quite what we were in for until the doors of the tent were parted at 7PM.

Within lay an entirely different world…

Upon walking inside we were greeted by Dame Devina Brown, a woman with a slight testosterone problem and an Adam’s Apple. We were lucky enough to be seated at number 69 (giggidy) right next to the stage. Our table number was announced loudly and with much enthusiasm.

I’m not too sure how to describe the next few hours; what I can say is that I had an incredible night, not just because of the amazing show or the amazing food, but because of the beautiful company I was keeping! I was looking swanky if I do say so myself, so all was good in the world.

Food-wise, everything was fantastic. All five courses (I know right?) were meticulously planned and thought out; most of them I can’t even pronounce. That aside, let’s get to the actual performance aspects of the night.

Half the talent were Proudly South African, while some of the more extravagant performances were a couple of roller-skaters from Moscow (most likely the most amazing performance of the night), muscle-bound acrobats from the Ukraine, three asian contortionists and a hoola-hoop girl with pink hair from Las Vegas. The local acts included a magician and his “drunken” little-person sidekick (who was hilarious), two Cape Town-based acrobats (my favourite performance), and three big African Mamas with gigantic voices, and gigantic personalities.

Madam Zingara’s is a something best experienced first-hand, but hopefully some of the pictures’ll give you a bit of an idea… the word indescribable comes swiftly to mind. The show had ended, but the fun wasn’t nearly over. The stage was opened and people took this as an invite to begin dancing the night away.

Did we dance? Hell yeah, we did.

Unfortunately I’ve come to the end of my brief summary of our Madame Zingara experience and I can’t wait for the next one. If you get the opportunity to go you’d be a fool to turn it down.
Also a big thank you to Ikamva Labantu, a Cape Town-based NPO, as a percentage of the proceeds go to them to build a centre for the under-privileged.

Oh, one more thing, completely unrelated: Our good friend Tecla Ciolfi’s blog “Texx & The Cityhas been nominated for the “Best South African Music Blog” award, so pop by OVER HERE and add your vote.

Until next time… stay classy, Cape Town.



Filed under The Chronicles


-Lourens Loki Corleone

I hate Tuesdays. Well, actually, I lie. I hate Tuesdays while I’m at work, but the nights I have The Akelian Circus at Bella Venezia to look forward to. You don’t know about it? Then you must have been living under a rock the last few weeks.

Student Night. Pizza + 2 Shooters. The Akelian Circus. I think I’ve said enough. Now where was I?

Ah yes – its Tuesday. I was going to do some blogging for y’all yesterday, but my post-weekend fatigue lead to a severe case of procrastination. Today seems like a good day for writing, however, so let’s jump right in with…


My weekend started off well. I was offered a ride home with Brother Dennis “Quirkyshirts” Krige, so besides getting off from work a little earlier, I had the luxury of good company, good music and a few damn good laughs. “Dennis, why are you so grumpy if your shirts are so quirky?”.

Getting home, I was met with a very disturbing sight. Ian “Eaglehart” Kay and Nick “Dragon” Frost were fast asleep, each hogging a couch in the lounge.

I don’t know about you, but I find this kind of behaviour unacceptable, especially coming home from work on a Friday. That said, I let them sleep and Dennis and I got stuck into a fierce Burnout: Paradise party of the Xbox. I won, of course, a fact that I didn’t let Dennis forget. Name-calling and questioning of sexual orientation is then naturally targeted at the defeated opponent, since we are just mature like that.

It was around this time that Nick’s cousin Andrea arrived, ready to party. We tasked her with waking up the fallen brethren, which is not as easy as it might seem. At this point, they have been sleeping right through engines screaming, cars crashing and two really mature twenty-somethings yelling blistering profanities at each other. The only advice I could give her was “Stay out of swinging distance”. Others have not heeded this advice when waking Nick…they are dead now.

Brutal murders aside, I was ready for a night on the town. Eventually everyone was prepared for the night ahead, and we headed to Somerset West’s own infamous Springbok Pub. Back in the day it used to be Townsquare, but after recently opening again as Springboks it has quickly gained favour amongst the crazy/beautiful denizens of Somerset West. (I said it! I said it!)

We did our normal rounds through the venue, making our way to the dance floor bar where Springboks’ famous two-for-one special was in effect. Drink in hand, we started scouting for a table. Somewhere in the middle of all this, we bumped into Phil and Jessie, as well as our new friends Danielle and Kaygan.

We occupied a table on the “Rhodesian Arms” side of the club (though they don’t really call it that in Somerset West) … this is when we hit the time warp.

The whole town seemed to be out and about, as trying to recall everyone that I talked to and saw that night is making my brain tick worryingly. We were joined by Erick Smit, who joined the Wild West blog’s team the same day. Welcome! Where was I? Oh yes, the time warp. Time seemed to speed forward at a blistering pace, for some or other reason I remember the entire night in fast forward, except for one inconsistency…the drinks on the table never decreased, they just seemed to increase! This was thanks to Andrea who, for lack of something even cooler to say, likes to party. So, party we did.

Very soon it was 4 o’clock and our designated driver was put to good use. We headed back to the Eiffel Tower, where our night ended.


What felt like 2 minutes later I woke up, quite sure that I died somewhere during the night. I shuffled unenthusiastically to the lounge but couldn’t muster up the energy to watch anything, so I made use of the bed in our lounge (convenient, no?) to catch up some more dying.

Around 12pm I rose from the dead to some very good news. Andrea’s mother very kindly invited Nick and I for a recovery breakfast at Cafe Picasso, and food seemed like the holy grail my body needed at that moment. A cream soda and a burger later, I felt like a new man. A new man, with food shock.

After breakfast, Nick and I walked to town for undisclosed reasons. This reason NOT being that Nick needed to buy himself some new girl-size jeans. I promise! He also invested in a 2l Stoney, which promised us energy on our walk home. Along the way we met his other cousin, the ever-cool Mike Rainbird, who heroically joined our quest for home, shade and couches.

I have no idea what happened the rest of the afternoon…not that it mattered, because we had a pretty good night ahead of us.

Andrea was keen to join us for another night of debauchery, so around dinner time Ian, Nick and I headed to her place in Gordon’s Bay for some delicious chicken burgers. Nick’s GHD-senses were tingling, and pretty soon I had to witness more hair-straightening that I ever care to see again.  That goes for you too, Ian. Tsk tsk…as if I wouldn’t write about it.

Andrea’s friend Hayley joined us, and we headed down to Long Bar where Kaygan was having her birthday party. It started off nice and chilled, with loads of introductions and conversations populating the early part of the evening. The boys were not complaining…there were beautiful people everywhere! I received a welcome phone call from my brother-by-name Loki, and pretty soon he joined the fray. A bit later, a few more additions unexpectedly walked through the doors. Nick Kuiper, Kaydee and Karen…ready for action.

The night at Long Bar was quite entertaining, the gang of girls looking like they were having a crazy time. Ever hear an 18-year old girl singing Eye Of The Tiger? I have.

After midnight, thoughts turned to the next venue which would inevitably (and luckily) be Springboks. Trying to organise for everyone to get to Somerset West side proved more complicated to plan than a bank heist, so the boys set off on their own, promising to show up at the next venue. We headed to the Eiffel Tower for a pit stop, and then rushed to Springboks.

We were thankful to see Springboks was extremely lively. We also unexpectedly ran into Dennis, who had forsaken us for other things that evening. Phil also joined us, and then the Springboks time warp hit us again. No need to explain what happened next! Very soon the venue was closed, and we were ushered outside.

Being a relatively big group at this point, we were still not ready for the night to be over so a bunch of us decided to head to the Eiffel Tower, while a few others called it a night.

The party at the Eiffel Tower was quite chilled, but cool. Let’s not mention the terrible pasta that was made, but at least the music was good and the drinks were cold. This carried on until daylight struck, at which point I decided to call it a night. Or a day. Whichever you prefer.

Sunday day came and went very quickly, but this was too be expected. Kyle came to visit us at some point, but it seems like I hardly opened my eyes before it seemed that Nick and Phil were busy getting ready for The Akelian Circus gig. Actually, I think this might be because they actually headed towards Nameless relatively early, with some Valentines Day event happening.

Slightly reluctantly and slightly fragile, I decided to go with after some convincing from Nick Frost’s side.

I hate missing the Akelian Circus, and it turned out to be the perfect end to my weekend, as always, so see you all next Sunday night!

Oh and as a last thought… has anyone heard the new Die Antwoord song? It’s available for download at their website. It’s called ‘Fish Paste’ and it’s rough… but awesome!

Also, I’ll be adding in more photos as I get them, be sure to check facebook for updates from my side.

Till next time, love you all.

1 Comment

Filed under The Chronicles

Talkin’ About A Revolution

-Lourens Loki Corleone

I know, I know. You’ve missed me. Happy new year! It’s been about a month since my last post and I humbly apologise for my shameless procrastination. It won’t happen again, I promise!

new years 2009

Well, it might happen again. You know I can’t lie to you. Although, I do promise to keep it to a minimum.

This, in a strangely roundabout way, brings me to my next topic. This blog. Nick and I have been discussing how it has evolved into more than we originally considered. Readers have dramatically increased, most of the posts fall under the “Chronicles” section and it has very little to do with Nick Frost Music, besides Mr. Frost being co-author and his gigs being mentioned periodically.

That said, we love the way the blog has turned out and in the spirit of progress, we decided that very very soon we are going to rename the blog and the url to something a bit more appropriate. The Wild West. We also plan to add an author or three to the roster, so if you feel you have what it takes to contribute stories about your weekends or (mis)adventures, feel free to email me at info@iamlovechild.co.za with an example of your work. I know, my posts tend to be lengthy in nature (but you love it, you know you do) so I don’t necessarily expect the same: Your style, your post, your personality. That is all I ask!

This is all still early days though, we might not expand for quite a while…it all depends on your reaction, now doesn’t it? So, let the games begin!

Okay, so where were we? Oh yes, it’s been a month, blah blah. Here goes:

Friday night. Friday night. After the week that I had, Friday night seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel, the messiah to my weekly social pariah.

Well, not quite, but it seems like that sometimes. Getting home from work on a Wednesday only to find your best friends bronzed from a day at the beach or having to go to sleep while a lucky few who choose their own hours get to socialize until the break of dawn does tend to tip the scale on my Murder-O-Meter.

When Friday arrives, my friends are bound by contract to never back down, never surrender … until Monday kicks me in the balls again.

So, when I got home on Friday I gathered the troops (myself, Nick, Ian, Dennis, Phil, Lauren, Jess, Jess) and we set forth to The Nameless Pub for one of the highlights of my weekend: The 357’s /  Ragdolls / Sleepers gig.

Fearing what the turnout would be like, I promoted the gig quite enthusiastically all over Facebook but I was still a bit nervous. This would be the first time that the Wild West (catchy, ain’t it?) would be hosting The Ragdolls and The Sleepers and I wanted to welcome them with as much vigour as our town could muster.

The turnout was great. I’ve seen better, but then it involves Heldervue, Change of View and after-payday wallets. So, I was happy. Very happy.

I was particularly glad that I manage to see a few people that I rarely have the pleasure of seeing in person (which is a terribly shame, I really have to kick myself into action). Two of my school friends were there, namely Steven and Heinrich: Two of my favourite people. Steven was accompanied by his prettier half, Natasje.

Also, I FINALLY manage to at least have more than a 5-minute drunken encounter (whoa, that sounds terrible…who writes this smut?) with the fantastic Tecla, who I seem to only ever run into when we are both heading in opposite directions (see, I told you there was an innocent explanation…psssh). I also got to hang with Sarah. The Pope doesn’t know it yet, but I’m totally carving her name onto my desk, right next to Brody Dalle.

So, the night opened with The 357’s who are quickly gaining popularity. I am losing count how many people tell me that this is one of their favourite local bands. I sadly only saw the second half of their set, but it sounded great…as always. It was also bassist Chris’ birthday so not only were they on the ball, they were in celebration mode. Good going, guys.

Next up were the Ragdolls. Now, the fact that I have never seen Sarah and her band live before has been a topic of ridicule for quite a while now. The amount of times I’ve managed to be busy while they are performing somewhere is horrendous, but I finally made up for it and boy, was it worth it. The Ragdolls explode of the stage like a bat out of hell, with Sarah’s unique voice leaving the crowd speechless. Well, speechless except for Nick Kuiper who kept yelling “Oh my god! They fucking rock!” in my ear. Words of wisdom Mr. Kuiper. The rest of her crew were great as well, rock solid. Great show, guys! Not long after it was The Sleepers’ turn, and they didn’t disappoint either. Very, very cool! The lead singer’s has a great voice and they have a sound that will get them far. I am looking forward to seeing then as by this time the alcohol was kicking in and my A.D.D kicked into full swing.

It was around this time that Mike Smith (editor of YourLMG Magazine and all-round cool guy) and I had a conversation about the nature of the Wild West’s nightlife and the severe lack of dedicated ROAR or Mercury-quality live music venues. I smell a business opportunity…Dibs!

Afterwards we headed back towards The Eiffel Tower, where we had the music going until close on 5am. Our neighbours must hate us.

Did I mention that this was also our good friend Amelia’s farewell party? She’s leaving for Amsterdam. Good luck, girl…we will miss you like crazy.

Saturday morning arrived unexpectedly, and the hunger set in. Jess, Ian and Michelle left to buy food and arrived back with the most disgusting little pie-things that I’ve ever tasted. I can’t really describe the taste to you, but it was the food equivalent of the sound a cat makes when it is in heat. I spit it out, and ate an apple. El naturale!

Very soon it was time for Nameless again. My good friend Heather Waters was performing, joined with Nat and the Beanstalks.

Scotty and Adriana decided to join us, and the night was under way!

Nat and the Beanstalks were up first, and had the crowd dancing along with her covers like “Talkin’ About A Revolution” and a few originals thrown into the mix. Very chilled, but great. I also think the drummer girl is super cute, but I won’t type that out loud.

D’oh! Moving swiftly along…

Next up were Heather Waters and the Eiffel Towers, as I like to call them. Actually,  I’ve never called them that before, but seeing as the entire band (except for Heather) live at the Eiffel Tower, I think at least on or two jokes are in order. I will think up some more so long. Patience is a virtue.

With Briers doing the sound, everything sounded great! I do love her music, I’m quite sentimental about it – especially since I was on tour with them middle 2007.

When the gig was done we all decided to head to Springboks… and that is where it all goes wrong. Well, I say “wrong” but I mean “too much tequila”. I am told stories of jumping on basins, jumping out of cars…I was in the mood for jumping, it seems. Somewhere along the night, possibly because of a diet during the day that consisted of not much at all I was slightly caught of guard and, uncharacteristically, got blazingly liquored.

In any case, we arrived at home in piece and not long after I decided that sleep was the best idea possible, seeing as it was already light outside.

I woke up, and immediately I wasn’t sure whether I was dead or not. It was also after 3 in the afternoon. It wasn’t as much “beauty sleep” as “coma and possible brain damage”. I immediately swore to never drink again, and not long after I found myself sitting in Nameless once again, vodka and cream soda in my hand.

Take it easy, people. I only had one or two to cure my hangover. Promise.

So, as I said, suddenly I was in Nameless again. Just before we left I made myself Sunday lunch which consisted of baked potatoes and pork chops, so I was in food shock.

Food Shock (n) def: The hour or so after you eat large quantities of food in the middle of a raging hangover where you feel worse rather than better.

It was time for The Akelian Circus, and besides the blackmail and being-called-girls-names that led to me being there I was excited. They always put on a great show, and ends off my weekend perfectly. I love seeing so many of my friends all at once.

Despite a scary ginger man with a tooth missing jumping around the place, it was a good night! We were also joined by new acquaintances Danielle and Kaygan, who left way too early. Tsk tsk!

I am not one to talk though. Around 11pm Ian and I decided that it is time to take our leave and while The Akelian Circus were busy with their final set we walked home to a house made of couches, Xbox 360, Frankenstein cigarettes and Supernatural.

That is how my night ended, folks. I loved every minute of it! Oh, Rebecca, I totally googled “La Fille Morte Vivente”. You were spot on, as expected:

Living Dead Girl.

1 Comment

Filed under Reviews, The Chronicles

The Eiffel Tower Family – Part 1

-Lourens Loki Corleone

Well, after recently being inspired by one of Rox’s new blog posts,  I decided it would be a good idea to introduce all the colourful characters that you always read about on here. This is Part 1, since the posts would be WAY too long if I mentioned all of you lovely people at once.

So, with no particular order in mind, let’s start at the logical place: The blog’s namesake:

Occupying one of the three bedrooms in the Eiffel Tower, Nick also doubles as emergency housekeeper, talented musician, is one of the founding members of iamlovechild, freelance graphic designer, songwriter, freelance video editor and part of the mysterious organisation known as the “Core bro’s”.

His natural habitat is sitting behind his laptop which is conveniently located by the bar, but he has also been spotted on the couch, his bedroom and the kitchen. These sightings are few and far between though, but keep an eye out…you never know!

He is also sometimes seen playing a guitar or on the drums. Sometimes, if you are lucky, he can also be found behind the drums playing them. This is usually followed by bouts of swearing at sound guys and dodging Phil (who we will get to later) as he falls over.

He responds to “John”, “Frank”, “Frankenberry”, “Jeremiah”, “Jehosafat”, “Romulus”, “Snickerfloss” and sometimes “Nick”.

Favourite food? Anything he doesn’t have to make himself.

That all said and done, next up on our list is:

Occupying the largest bedroom in the house, Nick Kuiper is our resident human jukebox, cat-feeder, noise level-reduction agent, music teacher, professional guitarist, bass player, hard rocker, vienna eater, beer drinking expert and buyer of electricity.

His natural habitat is his trusty couch, but he has also been spotted scratching in the freezer or in his bedroom. When not participating in any of these activities, Nick is teaching his love of rock & roll to the next generation (a worthy cause, I feel) or messing up his hair whilst doing his thing on stage.

He has been known to kick the walls of his house and to shout at people on the phone, but all-of-the-above definitely deserved it. I promise.

He responds to “Nick”, “Nick Kuiper”, “Sir”, “Ben Hur” and “Only Person Who Always Has Cigarettes” and “Core bro”.

Favourite food? Nick Kuiper’s favourite food is McDonalds or KFC, especially if he is the only one eating it.

Hmmm…so, who is third up? Let’s take a look:

Ian is one of the new residents in the Eiffel Tower and resides in the room we nicknamed the Opium Den, named after a private joke we made the day we first moved into the house.

Ian is our resident Internet Marketer and SEO Specialist, and spends most of his time in our roof doing research on how to make us all filthy rich in the near future. Believe! He is also our resident boogeyman, late-nite-bass-noise-enthusiast, Marlboro Red smoker and is also part of the “Core Bro” organisation. He is also a member of ‘iamlovechild’.

Ian does not like walks on the beach, and doesn’t really like daylight either. He is often known to hide in dark corners and is frequently seen complaining about a lack of milk in the house.

He responds to “E”, which pisses me off as THERE IS NO FUCKING E IN HIS NAME. Thankfully, he also responds to “A”, “I”, “O”, “U”, “Vowel” and sometimes “Y”.

His favourite food is anything that would piss off conservationists, green peace or PETA.

Next up is your truly, me:

Well, this is weird. What do I write about myself? Okay, here is a deal. I give you all 10 seconds to telepathically send me questions to the past, to the exact moment that I am typing this.

Okay, that didn’t work at all. Next time try harder.

I live in the Eiffel Towerand I lead a bit of a double life, having a day job in IT but also being one of the co-founders of ‘iamlovechild’. Pretty much, my job entails trying to co-ordinate a dozen people with severe ADD, OCD and many other acronyms as well. The only other ‘role’ I have is rolling down hill. Okay, that was lame, so we should definitely cross telling jokes off the list.

I am the resident wannabe chef in the house, my speciality being Bachelor Chow (patent pending) and creating something edible from not much at all. Oh, and I am part of the “Core Bro” organisation too.

I respond (it seems) to Lourens, Loki, Lo, Slowrinse (damn you, Roxanne!!!), Bloukrans, Krans and “I’m hungry”. My favourite food is anything geeky.

Okaaaay then, lets move right along:

Dennis is the one of the  “Core Bro” members that do not in fact reside at the Eiffel Tower, but also one of the members that would be welcome to…and who also might as well, since his natural habitat is our couch, whilst playing Xbox 360.

Dennis is a sound engineer, and has also recently been granted a slot on a radio station as a DJ. Yeah! We trust his rise to fame will be filled with scandal, booze and infamy…just the way he likes it.

Dennis is also our local source of new and interesting profanities, since his angry outbursts manage to string together rude words like a fine quilt, if Satan had woven it himself. Sometimes, normal words even take on a whole new meaning. Truly a pioneer.

He responds to “Dennis”, “Deny”, “Deny the Demon”, “Denise”, “Dude”, “Hey Mr. DJ, Shut The Fuck Up” and “Bro-Tastic”.

His favourite food is anything he can shoot with a gun.

Quickly now, let’s get to the next person:

Phil likes to bleed his own blood. Often. Just recently, Phil walked into the house with scabs on his arms from falling…somewhere.

While not living at the Eiffel Tower, Phil is also of the visitors that frequent our beloved home. Actually, calling him a visitor is not correct. To many of us, it is a second home and we are all a rag-tag family. Phil plays bass for Heldervue owns Bandhouse Productions, is a member of ‘iamlovechild’ and also…he likes to party. Hell hath no fury like Phil with a beer in his hands and a ciggie in his mouth. “Core bro” represent!

Also, he sings. Fucking well.

Phil’s natural habitat is a random couch at the Tower, watching Entourage, or the closest bar he can find.

He responds to “Phil”, “Phillys”, “Phlap”, “Philthy”, “Phillet Steak”, “Philanthropist”, “Philemon” or “Holy shit! It’s Phil!” and his favourite food is pizza that he buys but everyone else eats, without them leaving him any.

Who’s up next?  Have a gander at:

Rox hasn’t been around for as long as some of the others, but frequently calls dibs on one of the comfortable couches that we have, leaving others to rearrange their spines on the uncomfy ones. Nice!

She cooks fantastically, and is also quite the vocalist. No, I’m not talking about her beautiful voice (which she has), I’m talking about her yelling at people after a few tequila’s…or before. “Kykie, kykie…FOK JOU!”

She responds to “Rochelle”, “Roxy”, “Rox”, “Nice Hotpants” and “Girl Who Sings Angel”

Her favourite food is anything she can serve to her boys, namely us.

Next up is:

“Little” Lauren is one of the few girls that is ever allowed to join in on a bro night for one reason: “Never seen zef so fresh!”

Besides being a fantastic graphic designer and photographer, she is also an accomplished party animal and the typical Girl Next Door that makes her everyone’s favourite pint-sized blond girl.

Her natural habitat is wherever there is a beat going, or behind he camera.

She responds to “Lauren”, “Little Lauren”, “La”, “Ren”, or “Zef so Fresh”.

Her favourite food is Soul Food…

…and that brings me to the end of  Part 1! In the next post you can look forward to some interesting snippets about Juliette, Kyle and the rest of the close family!

Lots of love,



Filed under The Chronicles

Monkeys Are Hilarious

-Lourens Loki Corleone

Not shown: a monkey.

Not shown: a monkey.

So… Monday morning. I always find myself on a Sunday night or a Monday morning feeling a little sad, reflecting back on the weekend that had just past. Not in a sense that it weighed heavy on the heart, but in the sense that I am way too sentimental, and nostalgic. There is always a story to tell, and always a few stories I dare not…let me try and figure out which is which:

For some of us, our weekend started on Thursday. I would have liked to be one of these people, but I had the luxury of pretending. So on Thursday night, Nick Frost and I find ourselves in Cape Town, at Kyle’s flat. Nick was gearing up for an interview in town the next day, and seeing as I work in the city already it wasn’t a far stretch for me to jump on the Thursday Night bandwagon.

Before I continue, let me introduce you to the concept of FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out. Nick and I are both extreme sufferers of this terrible affliction, and is also a contributing factor to why our circle normally moves in a pack. These are facts.

Okay, but to continue:

Kyle and Nick pick me up from work, and we head up to his flat. It was inexplicably rainy, and it was cold enough to make the weather even more unpleasant. We stopped off at a grocer, and equipped ourselves with some wine and miscellaneous snacks. We got to his flat shortly after, and for some strange reason spent the next two hours drinking wine and watching a documentary on the legalization of hemp. It blows the mind.

We swallowed the documentary down with some pasta, brewed to perfection by Kyle, and a little more wine.

Now, Kyle is busy moving back to Somerset West, so every now and then there would be a knock at the door and complete strangers would wander around. Nick would normally make inappropriate jokes (“Kyle, did you tell them about the Thing?”) and chase them away…definitely amusing.

Luckily, one of these knocks at the door turned out to be our good friends Amelia and Sylvia, who missioned from the Wild West in the pouring rain, to come hang out. We saw the night as Kyle’s “flat cooling”. A glass of wine later and we were also joined by Trudy, a part of Kyle’s acting troupe, and not long after that the lovely Miss Tecla Ciolfi decided to make an appearance.

The crew was complete and good conversation, much laughter and the Cape Town vibe turned the night into one to remember. I don’t have to say much about it, because we filmed a lot of the night.

Yes, friends. Very soon you will be able to NOT ONLY read about the strange lives and times of the gang, but you will also be able to feast your eyes on our macabre little world. Granted, I make us sound like a traveling carnivale-esque family but sometimes it feels like that is exactly what we are…and we love it. So, as I said – expect loads more video footage. Yes, “beleee dat”.

I have to admit, at around midnight I turned into Darth Fader and decided that sleep would be a good idea, as I had a nine-to-five to go to the next day. Sylvia was asleep already, so I didn’t feel as bad.

Now, folks, if you don’t want to spend the next day being called Darth Fader by Tecla, do NOT go to sleep before she does. You have been warned.

I woke up bright and early – the best thing about waking up in Cape Town is that I can sleep an hour later, and still be early for work. Everyone else was asleep, but I had to wake up Silly to give me a lift to work. She obliged, and not long after I headed to slavery.

Work was rough…let’s leave it at that. Procrastination was key to my survival!

A blink of an eye later, and Friday night had dawned on me. Nick and Ian Kay picked me up at the train station (I commute), and we headed towards the Eiffel Tower, our beloved home.

A good friend of ours was having a party, so we stocked up on some wine and vodka. As usual we started the party at our own home first, waiting for all the troops to arrive. Around 9pm, the troops had assembled. Included were myself, Nick Frost, Marc Frost, Nick K, Dennis McSurname, Ian Kay and Little Lauren. It had unexpectedly turned into a bro night! (No, I haven’t forgotten about Lauren but she is awesome enough to be welcomed into any bro celebration) In any case, we decided that it was time to head towards Zoe’s birthday party.

We didn’t really know what to expect, but we knew that this particular gang of girls (Zoe, Jen, Roliza) are some of Nick and my favourite people in the Wild West. So, if they were throwing a party nothing short of a nuclear winter could stop us from going.

We arrived (late as usual) to a party brimming with people, most of whom we don’t know which is quite a rare thing in the Wild West. We made our way to the host of the party, followed shortly by a trip to the punch bowl.

The next hour is a bit of a blur. It was a strangely individual mission as each one of us grabbed a drink and then started mingling – covering more ground, I guess.

About an hour after we arrived, I got wind of the fact that Nick had downed a particularly large amount of vodka. I am still not sure why this happened, but Nick maintained that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

At this point, Ian and myself decide that it is a good time to start exploring. We headed to the garden with Mone, walked down a random dark garden path and, in our slightly inebriated state, we came across a very strange and unexpected sight. We had happened across ruins. Yes, you read right. Freakin’ ruins. There were more people mmissioning around (the party was quite packed) but coming across creepy looking ruins with only the light of the moon to see anything was the LAST thing we expected to discover.

We had our drinks with us, and decided to chill there for a bit. Not too long after, Little Lauren and Dennis made an appearance with some news. Nick was man down.

We are still not sure why but something had hit Nick like a sledgehammer and he was worse for wear, so we decided to go home. Arnold came and fetched Lauren, and they headed off in their own direction. We were sad to go, but if I may quote Will Smith: “We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life”. Ahh…cheesiness. gotta love it.

Oh and before I continue the story, not long after we departed Marc Frost got in a fight with some idiots. Granted, Marc does turn into the Incredible Hulk when he drinks, but I am sure they deserved what was coming to them. Wish I was there to at least have witnessed it. Anyway…*cracks knuckles*

So, we were back home. Nick was closed for business but the rest of the gang was still alive and kicking. We polished the last bit of alcohol we had left, played some pool and I made sure the tunes were rocking. Epic bro night!

If I may quote Dennis: “Guys, I have had the worst fucking day of my life. I messed up quite badly and in general this day was just filled with unpleasantness. I would just like to say that I have been at the Eiffel Tower and around my friends for a minute, and I already feel fantastic.” This is the power of the Eiffel Tower. It is not about the place, it is about the strange surrogate family that we find ourselves in…and loving it.

Saturday morning was quite rough. Amelia showed up at some ungodly hour of the morning and I found her asleep in a random bed, but she disappeared by the time I had returned to being fully human.

We moved to the lounge as a group, looked at the amazing weather out my sliding door and at that moment, Dennis had an epiphany. We have to braai. I loved this idea, and Nick Kuiper and Dennis took off to go find wood, meat and a working braai  (we made fire on our braai and it fell apart…so yeah…).

Dennis returned with the biggest chunk of ribs I have seen in my life. It was definitely not beef, and my slight suspicion that it was human meat turned out to not be far off. It was warthog. Yes, Dennis showed up with a full warthog rack of ribs that he procured from his dad’s fridge. I promptly made a marinade, and along with some boerewors our lunch was under way.

Artists Impression: Tasty Saturday's Lunch

Artists Impression: Tasty Saturday's Lunch

Finally, when it was done, we could taste the difference. Wild. Wild. Wild. I loved it, with some clever spicing, but I am not sure that Nick or Dennis was very impressed.

Clara, Mike and Andre showed up around this time. Clara naturally loved this, being from Namibia. Apparently, the only food you ever get in Namibia is weird shit.

Andre and I disappeared into the Opium Den (which is currently being used as a conference room since Pixie moved out) for a catch-up ‘iamlovechild’ meeting, while the rest of the house chilled around our pool table. (I had ‘recruited’ Andre as a management consultant for iamlovechild, so a tip of a hat to Mr. Payne for being an all-round awesome guy)

Not too long after, night fell once more…and we were restless. Andrea showed up, Nick’s cousin, and she was in a mood for a night on the town. We agreed, but since we are poor boys for the next week we didn’t really have the finances for a big night out.

Andrea insisted, and a few minutes later we found ourselves in a suspiciously quiet Nameless Pub, sipping on a vodka and coke. Andrea, myself and Nick were joined by fellow core bro Dennis, Esna, Karen, Mone, Andre Payne and Nathalie Moens (as a side-note, Mone was leaving for Jozi later that night, but it turns out later that she completely missed her flight…on the upside, that means we could see her Sunday too). Very surprisingly, Andrea’s parents showed up and soon there were drinks flying around a plenty (thank you very much!) and sooner than we expected, last rounds were called. As I said, Nameless was pretty quiet, but that means we can pretty much take over the place.

At some point two girls walked into the pub, and I decided that I should go and have a chat with them. As I walked over, the one saw me, waved and said “Hey!! How are you?!” … turns out that she was one of two girls that partied with Nick and I at the RadPad almost a year ago. Naturally, I invited them to come visit the Eiffel Tower at some point, exchanged numbers and went our seperate ways. Oh, around this time Kyle, Amelia and Roxy showed up respectively.

Not long after, last rounds were called. The whole gang went back to the tower…and here is where it gets hazy. I recall going to sleep not too long after, but after a discussion with Mone the next day it seems that I might have been a bit more inebriated that I gave myself credit for. One of those nights when you feel the need to confess the world, it seems, but hey … at least I confess most of my sins right here, to all of you folk!

Sunday morning was rough…I woke up late the morning (which is unlike me), and decided that I would like to spend the rest of my morning watching Supernatural Season 5…so I did (Supernatural being one of the best shows ever created).

When I finally woke up the house had vacated of zombies, and not too long after Phil showed up, looking as rough as we did. He had been in Jozi at a wedding, caught a flight after not sleeping much and came directly to the tower.

He invested in some pizza and Coca-Cola, and pretty soon a shred of light was shining at the end of the tunnel. It then occurred to us that it was Monkey Town day.

Too explain, someone had asked Phil if he wanted to do a song or two at a charity gig, and he decided to involve most of the Akelian Circus. So, off we went to goddamn Monkey Town.

On arrival we realised we weren’t in Kansas anymore. Besides Jesse Jordan and his ragtag crew, there were old people everywhere…what the hell had Phil gotten us into? Suddenly, Ian and I realised something horrible – there were no monkeys to be seen anywhere. ANYWHERE. We roamed the area around where the people were and they didn’t have anything besides annoying birds, and I hate birds almost as much as I hate fish. We were disappointed…

“Monkeys are HILARIOUS!” – Lourens Loki Corleone

I will definitely not go into the rest of that afternoon, but other bands that performed were Catch 22, 3D and…some guy. Now, by the time we got there these guys were all liquered up so to say that the performances I had to witness were appalling, to say the least. 3D were pretty consistent and got our heads bobbing a bit, but when you have two different bands playing Black sabbath songs right after each other, you realise what I am talking about. Also, the fact that they start setting up IN THE MIDDLE of the Akelian Circus set is quite appaling and horribly unprofessional, especially since the girl who organised the event just wanted to hear more of the Akelian Circus.

Oh well, nobody takes these charity gigs too seriously, especially if attendance is sketchy, so I won’t judge too harshly. At least we had a Sunday afternoon, sitting under a blue sky and we even caught a little sunshine. Wait, what am I talking about? I am nocturnal enough to be critical of the outdoors.

Did I mention who all turned up? Besides Nick Frost, Phil, Richard Kuiper and Roxy from the Circus, Ian Kay, Nathalie Moens, Andre, Karen, Mone and Zoe showed up.

Soon after the gig we headed towards the Tower again. It was getting dark, so we were starting to wake up. What followed was another night of good music, good people and loads of madness…so when it boils down to it, the usual! Around a respectable Sunday night time most people left for their respective homes…but very soon after that, Juliette and La Frass showed up on our doorstep and a very welcome and very Eiffel Tower-esque late hour. We hadn’t seen them for a while, so the next few hours we filled with gossip, more gossip, Stepbrothers and the few cigarettes we could scrounge together. So, at around 2am Sunday night I finally rested my head down on my very unmade bed, and predictably … I couldn’t fall asleep. One episode of South Park later and I was gone…

…I still remember the last thought that was in my head before I drifted off. It was a quote from Stepbrothers, and seems appropriate at this point: “SO MANY ACTIVITIES! IT’s MAKING MY HEAD SPIN!”. Actually, now that I think about it I am lying. That was most likely the second last thought in my head. Typical.

Leave a comment

Filed under The Chronicles

Sound Effects and Overdramatics

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Lourens Corleone…Take it away.

So, friends, as I write this I find myself again slaving away through a blue Monday, the demands of society once again compelling us to spend half (or more) of our day doing completely the opposite of what we would rather be doing. It is life’s little irony, I feel.
Every dog day afternoon brings us a little closer to the End, and at some point that is what we strive for. The End of the day, the End of the Week, the End of the month, the End of the year…
But fear not, gracious reader! This may sound like a dreary, monotonous existence, but for two nights every week, we have the opportunity to take our revenge and yes, brothers and sisters – revenge is a dish definitely best served CRUNK.


Our weekend had begin. I arrived home last (as usual) and the house was pretty quiet (???). I had just picked up Rox Bayman, and we were in the mood to party. The house was pretty quiet, the usual suspects were there but seeing as myself and Nick had not a CENT on our name (a unfortunate side-effect of AH1N1 that they don’t tell you about in the papers) we were low on everything, alcohol definitely included. Roxy had a single bottle of Four Cousins sweet red with her which we secreted away stealthily (Keep it secret, keep it safe!)

So, a well-guarded glass of wine in my hand, and the evening was off to a sluggish but entertaining start…and slowly but surely, the rest of the gang started to poke their heads around our infamous front door.
Very soon we had a whole heap of the regular crowd listening to music and playing pool. This included myself, Nick Frost, Nick Kuiper, Phil Joubert, Jess Johnstone, Andrea Chapman, Dennis Krige, Loki Swanepoel, Roxy Bayman and two friends of Nick K.
Soon we were joined by more of our very good friends, Lauren Hochfelden and Juliette Starke. Lauren only popped in, as she was heading in a different direction.

Then, a miracle happened. Loki turned water into a 5 litre box of Namaqua Natural Sweet Rose (“Try me!”). Yes, my friends. The Eiffel Tower glowed bright in awe of this monumental occurance, and for a while after we all felt a warm glow of happiness. For a moment, just a moment, the whole world seemed at peace.
Following the “Big Bang”, we continued as we were and opened our door in welcome of those in seach of a party. Pretty soon we were joined by more of our good friends, Paul and Gideon from Yes Sir! Mister Machine and their friends Gerhard and Matt. The house was filling up, and things were getting crazy. How crazy, you may ask? All I know is, at some point the house was booming with everything from Marilyn Manson to zef rap rave, and even some Dutch / Flemish hip-hop……

At some point during all the madness, we deemed it a good idea to go to The Nameless Pub, our local stomping grounds. Most of us decided to go, except for one or two friends that decided to hold the fort. Who all decided to join at Nameless? Hell if I know, but it was awesome.
Nameless was packed, but alas…most of us were poor boys (bad time of the month). We pathetically scraped together some cents for a drink or two, and to our surprise we were handed a handful of fake money notes which, apparently, we had to go “gamble” with. Turns out that winning was pretty easy with a good strategy, and that the currency was not money – it was vodka shots.

Many, many, many of these occured. Just how many? We would rather not disclose this information. I also met up with Nicholas (yes, another one), a friend that I know from the Prophecy forums (forums.prophecy.co.za) that I frequent at work that happens to stay in Somerset West as well. He joined us for the rest of the night, and I am pretty sure that our crazy rag-tag entourage freaked the living bejeezus out of him. You know, those troubling 5 minutes before you realise we are not a) cartoon characters b) superheroes or c) cannibals.

We returned to the Eiffel Tower relatively unscathed and in high spirits, only to find Lauren and Julz watching music videos in my bedroom.
We turned up the volume (our neighbours must hate us), and inevitably Die Antwoord started crooning out their fantastic zef rap rave, followed closely by Lauren and I acting like fools all around the room, much to the amusement of our other visitors, including Nicholas, who I had invited to come and check out the Eiffel Tower…

…and then I woke up. Well, I think I woke up. I am not sure how many senses you need to qualify as sentient, but all I know is I qualified as “alive” by the thinnest of margins – and I was not alone.


Slowly but surely, the Eiffel Tower started waking up. If you want to know what the Eiffel Tower looks like on a Saturday morning, feel free to rent “28 Days Later”. Zombies, food hoarding, survival of the fittest…all of these are themes we can definitely relate to.
So, being one of the first people awake, I was lucky enough to beat the other zombies to the last scrap of food in the house (we had 12 hours to go before we had money again) which was followed closely by me sprawling myself on the couch under a duvet, hiding from the light and the world.

Juliette returned from having to run a few errands, and mysteriously a few people disappeared from the house – returning to caves of their own most likely. Nick and Phil continued to work on the promotional video for Heldervue, with Julz and myself stomping around the house – restless and recovering.
Too soon, the afternoon was drawing to a close. I had not done anything productive but hey – it was Saturday! While Nick was practicing for his NFM gig, the rest of us (feeling a lot better – thank God for Cream Soda!) showered and got ready for the next ‘whatever’ the evening was going to bring us.

Strangely enough, we all were heading in different directions, a rare occurance for a close-knit group such as ourselves. Lauren had asked me to accompany her to a friend’s 21st in Stellenbosch; Kyle, Sylvia and Julz were also heading to Stellenbosch but to a different party and Nick Frost, along with Richard and Nick Kuiper, was heading to Cafe Mokka for a NFM gig. He will be posting about what happened on his leg of the evening soon, don’t y’all worry now!

Dressed up and looking smashing, Lauren & I headed to the 21st in Stellenbosch. It was taking place at the Van Der Stel sports club, and it turns out the pub is inside the main pavilion – very nice! The theme was “Under The Sea”, so we were greeted with boys and girls in scuba gear, beach wear… you get the idea.
We soon had a drink in (each?) hand, and as the night progressed the beer and brandy & cokes started flowing! It is always strange being at an event where you know almost nobody, but we never let that stop us. Some dancing even occured, which is why I am not being dragged to god-knows-where next week for more of the same, Lauren being the only person who could talk me into it! If you are reading this, I might already be dead. Don’t mourn me, brothers & sisters. I am in a better place now – a grave. No Afrikaans house music can get me there!

As the party drew to a close, we decided on our next course of action – Mystics.
An old favourite of ours, if we happen to be spending time in Stellenbosch, the odds are we would end up spending a large chunk of our evening within its alluring walls. We also knew that it was likely that this would be the place of rendevouz with Kyle, Julz and Silly. We were right! I also recieved a phone call from Ferdi & Naomi (who recently got engaged – Mosoltov!) and they would be joining us as well.
Walking into Mystics can be quite an experience on its own. Fighting your way to the bar, you realise that the crowd catered for, tend to lean towards the alternative culture… which is fantastic. All the beautiful people had come out to play, and the music was sending my brain into sonic euphoria as the sickest drum&bass was playing.
Ferdi & I caught up on some broversation, and Naomi and Lauren hit the dancefloor. I also noticed a friend of my sister, Bronwyn, whom I haven’t seen in a long time! Naturally, Le Frass (Julz’ man) was there as well. He was hard at work… or was it hardly working? I forget! Mystics…ah. It’s what Cheers would be like if it was in the middle of a tropical hurricane.

Not soon after, it was my turn. I hit the dancefloor like a bat out of hell, but I was definitely not the exception. The beat had everyone’s feet on fire! Lauren was feeling the late hour, and had a seat next to the DJ box to catch a second wind.
It was around that time that our prediction came true (with the help of a phonecall, of course). The troublesome trio had arrived! Sylvia joined me for some more dancing, and then we went off in search of the rest of the bunch.

Time speeds up in Mystics, and before we knew it, it was after 3am…closer to 3h30 to be precise. Le Frass’ shift ended, and we decided to head towards his place. A few other odd occurences won’t be mentioned at this time!

After chilling out to some Her Pretty Face and A Perfect Circle at his flat, I decided to head home. Sylvia joined me, and the rest of the crew decided that they are not moving until the morning….couldn’t blame them! The road back felt long and slightly eerie, with no signs of life to be seen anywhere…

…until I got home.
Now, it being about 5am in the morning at this point, I had expected to have to knock frantically on windows and doors until someone wakes up to let me in the house (I had given my keys to Amelia, Dennis and Pixi who were off on their own mission). As I got home, the world exploded into noise and colour as I walk straight into Nick, Amelia, Pixi, Rox and Phil still partying around the house. Not too long after, it was definitely…


I woke up quite late on Sunday, to the sound of Michael and Clara arriving at the house, only to remember that a power outage was scheduled for most of the day. It took me another hour to wake up decently, and I had to recovered scattered bodies around the house who were all equally slowly returning to life.

At midday we had decided – food is of vital importance, but without the ability to use electricity we had to resort to other methods of feeding out grumbling stomachs.

Nick, having been paid, decided that we needed to visit our local supermarket so Nick, Mike, Phil and I set off in Phil’s car, leaving Clara to hold the fort. We were very successful in our shopping excursion. First stop was Phil’s house for some meat and firewood, and the next stop was Checkers for some actual shopping. Savoury breads and other necessities were purchased, and we headed home just in time to meet the rest of the iamlovechild gang and a few other friends who were invited. Attending were myself, Nick Frost, Clara, Sylvia, Kyle, Phil, Lauren, Juliette and Amelia, and we were also graced by the presence of Michael Rainbird and Rox Bayman.

I set about braaiing, being the only Afrikaans-born male in attendance. We all agreed that this is the natural order of things, and that English males can only make girly fires. Fact. English males reading this, I would be worried but at least I know I won’t die by fire. Then again, you guys did win the war by cheating, so I think we are all even.

As the meat sizzled on the fire, the iamlovechild meeting started… and for three hours, as you have come to expect, we disappeared off the face of the planet. True story! The iamlovechild Soft Launch Party is on the 12th of September, and space is limited… check it out on facebook! http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=117187585255&ref=ts

Around 5pm, Nick Kuiper and Phil headed to The Nameless Pub to start setting up for the Akelian Circus gig. Nick Frost and Richard headed to the d*Frost band room for some more equipment, and when they returned we set off on our own little missions before the gig started. I was joined by my sister-in-spirit Juliette Stark, and we dropped Brother Nick Frost off at Nameless Pub and took a detour to pick up our good friend and fellow pseudo-sibling, Lauren Hochfelden.

The night had begun, and one or two drinks later the Akelian Circus started with a BANG.

To explain, the Akelian Circus (derived from ‘acoustic’ and ‘chameleon’) is the name that was concieved to collectively describe an acoustic gig performed by an ever-changing but always familiar group of musicians and artists from our social circle. The ‘circus’ part is important because that is the only way to describe the brilliance and chaos that ensues when the  event takes place.
Performing were Phil Joubert, Nick Frost, Nick Kuiper, Richard Kuiper, Julian Bach, Dax Frost, Rox Bayman and Juliette Stark with an awesome guest appearance by Gavin Marshall. I was dragged on to stage for our quite awful but amazingly ‘gees’ rendition of “On My Own” by The Used, always performed very late at night when the lyrics are few and the alcohol is plenty!

The night was an overwhelming success. Nameless was busy, the crowd was having fun and the drinks were flowing! For those of you who missed it, never fear; The Akelian Circus will be performing every second Sunday night at Nameless, so hang on to those Myprodols – your Monday morning is going to need them.

Around midnight everyone called it a night, and after a last drink and some quick packing up of instruments and sound equipment, most of us headed home, not quite ready to face the Monday but hey…

No rest for the wicked.

Until next time. Peace.

1 Comment

Filed under The Chronicles