Author Archives: Krans

Corsets & Orchids

(I used a few photos taken backstage by Roxy as well as photos and a video from Caryn – I hope you guys don’t mind, great job!)

Lourens Loki Corleone

The last week went by really quickly, ladies and gentleman. I think that Mr. Frost might need to do a follow-up to his Guide to Surviving Ramfest entitled “Guide to Surviving The Week After Ramfest”. I know I barely made it through, and I’m still exhibiting scars from that weekend madness.

Predicably, we discovered it was Friday again – sans the music festival. We had something a bit different planned this time though.
As you all remember, a few months ago, Roxy entered the Black Orchid Best of Burlesque Competition and came second. She had my vote, but the judges ruled that (the also brilliant) Kitty Fay should take the gold home.

Two weeks ago Rox told me the news: Black Orchid had asked her to join the troupe as an official member. It seemed like Tenille (AKA Lady Magnolia) had decided to go her own solo route, so Roxy was chosen as the new 4th member of the troupe. She decided that she didn’t want to join the Beasties side of the troupe; she prefered focusing on the classic burlesque rather than the darker, edgier side of The Beasties, in fitting with her choice of character.

Asking her brother’s help with the music, Nick quickly mixed a few songs together for Rox’s routine. All she had left to do was practice, practice, practice.

Her first show with Black Orchid Burlesque would be “Taking It Off On Broadway”, and the night had come to paint Cape Town red. There were limited tickets but, luckily, ours were arranged for us. When I say “arranged”, I mean that we gave someone else money to buy tickets for us because we are known for our slight tendency to procrastinate.

Not long after I get back to Somerset West after work on Friday we hit the road to Observatory, Cape Town. We were joined by cousin Andrea and the rest of Rox’s girl gang (the Pop Tarts), would meet us there.

I have to admit that I was quite excited. I love the burlesque scene. Besides agreeing with the empowering aspects of it, it is largely entertaining to watch, especially when the girls are as beautiful as the Black Orchid girls (my slight star-crush on Scar-Lit Hearts not having anything to do with it of course.)

Observatory is definitely one of my favourite parts of Cape Town. The vibrant characters that inhabit it, in contrast with Observatory’s slightly seedy reputation prove to be a very potent cocktail. Pun intended.
You can almost taste the energy in the air. For those who don’t know, Lower Main Road in Obz is home to infamous establishments like Gandalfs, Roots (formerly Cool Runnings), Obz Cafe, the Armchair Theatre and a treasure trove of other little pubs and hole-in-the-walls. Driving down the narrow road, it is easy forget that you are in South Africa.

The best thing about Obz would be the people. Think: bohemian revolution with a heavy dose of alternative. You might get the picture. We parked the car under care of an enthusiastic car-guard named Bessie (officially the strangest name for a male) and headed towards the venue. The back room of Obz Cafe hosts a small theater where Taking It Off Broadway was preparing to start.

As we walked in, I happened upon someone I hadn’t seen in years. Christopher (who’s surname escapes me) has got his heart set on stand up comedy, and God knows we need some fresh funny-men in our current South African slump. Good luck mate! He introduced me to the person standing next to him and a Jagermeister later, and we were all friends.

Having met up with the Pop Tarts, we made our way to the seats and waited in anticipation for the show to start. We didn’t wait long.

Roxy de Light

The theme was “Broadway”, obviously, so most of the numbers for the night had a similar feel; many were taken from Chicago, Cats, Cabaret and other famous productions.
First up was the entire Black Orchid Troupe doing a short dance number and giving the audience a chance to get to know them. Fantastic! I knew that Roxy didn’t have much time to rehearse it but nonetheless I think they all performed exceptionally well and in full character.

Diva DisaStar, Scar-Lit Hearts, Roxy Delight, Kitty Fay

A few minutes later Diva DisaStar was up. Interestingly enough, she started out scantily clad but strategically covered-up and acted out a girl getting ready for a night out on the town. The crowd still, as the show had just begun, but being a pro, Star soon rectified the situation with her temptress demeanor, strutting her stuff on stage with gusto. A true diva if I ever saw one.

Next up was the troupe’s songbird, Miss Melody, performing “Fever”. Her voice is amazingly full and within seconds she had successfully mesmerized the crowd.

Following Miss Melody was our Wild Wester, Roxy de Light. We  whooped and cheered as she played the cabaret vixen, dancing around the stage with grace and flair and then eventually turning the skit into her own version of “strip” poker. As her choice of song suggested: “The name on everybody’s lips is gonna be…Roxy!”
She may have been nervous a few days before the big night, but in true Rox fashion she was in her element once she set foot on the stage.

Roxy de Light

Roxy De Light

After her routine there was a brief intermission. We stocked up on drinks and nicotine and returned to the theatre area just in time for Kitty Fay to do her thing. She had put a lot of effort into her routine: It was definitely the best sequence I’ve seen her do, especially keeping in theme with the night. She showed her flexibility with some high kicks, and the crowd loved it. These girls were made to perform!

Kitty Fay

The second last act was Scar-Lit Hearts with her Marilyn Monroe tribute…the “red-head” version. Sporting a sexy white corset, she made sure the guys had their jaws on the floor and probably the girls as well. A playful personality clearly shines through on stage, and definitely adds to her already sultry performance.

Scar-Lit Hearts

Last up was both Diva DisaStar and Scar-Lit Hearts performing a number from “Guys & Dolls”. They delivered the number with an overabundance of sass, and the audience (us included) were delighted at their tongue-in-cheek portrayal of girls having to give up their material things. When they were done, the rest of the troupe appeared on stage and continued to captivate the crowd while Star thanked everyone that contributed to the success of the show.

Kitty Fay
The night was truly a success! I eagerly look forward to the next one. Girls, keep up the good work. Roxy, congratulations from your Wild West fan base for a successful debut. Black Orchid Burlesque is sure to make waves.

After the show we decided not to join the Pop Tarts at Ponchos but to head to back to Somerset West. We made it home in record time, but then it took us a further hour to decide what to do next. Phil, who was honing his gambling skills playing online poker, decided to join us. We headed towards town to pick up Jess Johnstone who was out partying.

Diva DisaStar, Scar-Lit Hearts, Roxy De Light, Kitty Fay

When we found her she was accompanied by Esna Strydom, Julian Bach and Jan Spies. They jumped in their respective cars and followed us to our next destination. Gordon’s Bay… (ominous music)

Kaygan Britz had invited us to join a party they had going on at Mark and Jade’s house, and, eventually after getting horribly lost on the way there, they came to the rescue and found us.

What happened next was spur-of-the-moment insanity. The music was good and the people were friendly. I remember sitting at the table at one stage, Jan sitting next to me, looking up at the group of girls dancing enthusiastically on the table and thinking: good times! A fist-bump emphasised how much we enjoyed this kind of behaviour.
At some point Esna and Julian decided the roof would be a good place to make noise. It was about this time that the Police showed up to break the party up; which was a pity as we were having mad fun. But that is what the Police do. And to be fair, it was some ungodly hour of the morning).

We drove back to Somerset West and the moment we crawled into the front door I headed for my bed and the hangover that was sure to follow the next morning.

When I woke up there were people passed out on the pool table and bodies all over the couches in the lounge… and everything was calm. For a while.

For a video of the Black Orchid girls doing what they do best, take a look at Caryn’s awesome mini-documentary OVER HERE.



Filed under The Chronicles

Sundays with the Circus

Friends and readers, I would like to introduce our new writer, Roxy. Being a fan of her blog, as well as her being a good friend (read: sister), she was a logical choice as one of our first new writers for The Wild West blog. I hope you all enjoy her writing as much as I do, like the part in this post where she calls me a loser for not being present this particular night. It’s not like I was at home, brain dead, watching movies or anything. Promise. So without further adieu, the beautiful miss Roxy de Light:
-Lourens Loki Corleone

Ahhhhhh Sunday! A day of rest.


That was the initial plan for my Sunday. I had had a hectic week; dance rehearsals or lessons every night, my burlesque debut show on Friday (did you go to Taking It Off On Broadway? If not, you missed out! Fortunately my dear friend Lourens will kindly recount the night’s festivities in the next post) a belly dance shimmy workshop on Saturday morning (non-stop wobbling for extended periods of time) and a performance and mini-workshop at a kitchen tea on Saturday night. So you see, I was shattered, and looking forward to a few relaxing drinks followed by the Sunday night movie and very possibly, a pizza.

This was not to be.

After a long, sweaty day at the beach, some friends and I decided to head down to Ocean View Hotel for some cocktails. Despite the lousy service by someone who I suspected may have previously worked for Home Affairs, the view was beautiful, the cocktails were great and the company was fun. We probably should have quit after those drinks but I was on a little bit of a roll after polishing off a jug of Sangria with my accomplices before heading out for the evening, so I suggested we go watch my brother, Nick, play with the Akelian Circus at Springbok Pub in the Wild West.

For those of you out of the loop, The Akelian Circus is a random group of musicians from various bands who gather together, usually on Sundays, and jam (as a non-musical person, please imagine me saying “jam” in verbal parenthesis with the slight over-emphasis that one who is not familiar with musical terminology employs when making use of a word not an every day part of their vocabulary).
As two of the guys we were with were strapping young men in their prime with the obligatory raging libidos, I lured them down with the promise of morally-questionable groupies and cheap booze. This is not always strictly true, but I tend to use dirty tactics when determined on getting my own way.

The Akelian Circus

We reached Springbok Pub and were welcomed by the usual gang; Nick, Richard, Nick Kuiper, Phil, Nikita, Rox (great name! nice girl too), Cara and several others. The only person missing was my dear friend Lourens who couldn’t offer any concrete reason for his failure to pitch.

After playing a few games of pool where I made sure I compensated for my abysmal lack of talent by switching pool partners often enough to improve the odds of the side I was on at least winning ONE game (you may condemn this utter lack of loyalty, but backing the underdog is definitely not my style) we headed into the main room to watch the guys play.

Rox, Nick Frost

They were great as usual; but I guess this is too be expected when you put a bunch of skilled individuals on the same stage and hand them instruments.
Inspired by the music (and no doubt a couple of shooters) I decided to take advantage of the open-mic platform and offered to perform backing vocals for some of the guest musicians. Although my offer was not met with enthusiasm, I didn’t let this dampen my spirits, and like a true trooper I sat myself down on a chair and grabbed the mic.

Imagining I looked quite like an MTV star at an acoustic set, and with my confidence boosted with thoughts such as, “I sound great singing in the shower” and “Music is in my genes- I wouldn’t have a musical brother and father and be a dancer if I couldn’t hold a note” I launched into my song with gusto.
The fact that I didn’t know the words or notes didn’t stop me and I sung my little heart out.

Only to find that some wise guy had turned my mic off, and I had sung my way through two songs without noticing.

Nonetheless, I civilly requested that my mic be turned back on and prepared to do backing vocals for Neil, an extremely gifted singer and guitarist. Neil, bless his soul, was undeterred by me crashing his performance and asked if there were any songs I actually knew the words to. We reached a happy compromise of a heartfelt acoustic cover of Lady Gaga’s Poker Face- a song definitely much more within my field of knowledge.

Although people didn’t leave screaming and crying, lets just say that I am definitely a dancer, not a singer. I have been forced to give up my dreams of becoming a rock star. However, I do thank my loyal fans for their cheers of encouragement (although I have a sneaky suspicion that this may have been more for their entertainment value than because of any existing talent).

Some guys, Joe, Cara

Richard, Nikita, Nathan

Bella, Roxy Bayman, some guy, Graham

Karen, Brian, Nikita

I was also extremely honoured to do an introduction for a song my boyfriend’s brother sang, on the socially acceptable topic of masturbation. Despite the dodgy subject matter, he nailed the song, and made a few new groupies himself I suspect!

After that I felt that it may be best to quit while I was ahead and politely asked my party if we could leave. On the way out I had a brief chat with bonafide girl rocker and talented songwriter, Heather Waters, with whom I confided that I feared my brother might be ashamed of me (I couldn’t help but notice his head hung in shame while I whooped my way through his set (“GO NICKKKKKKKKKKK, WOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!” doesn’t always go down that well when one is playing a soulful ballad) To her credit, Heather looked a bit sheepish and reluctantly admitted that I did seem rather “happy”- the universal polite euphemism for DRUNK. You know you’re in trouble when the ultimate party girl looks a little embarrassed for you!

Nick Frost, Cara, Roxanne

Of course, no drunken night is ever complete without a stop to BP and we made sure we stocked up on the bare essentials: cheese grillers, samoosas and fizzy drinks. After terrorising the cashiers, we went on our merry way, no doubt leaving them with ample giggle material for the next day. Ah, if those BP cashiers ever wrote a book it would be a bestseller! I can see it now…. “Tales of the Late Night Pie Purchasers”

So if you haven’t yet made it to an Akelian Circus gig, I urge you to do so- they are great fun, with plenty great music and always full of friendly faces.

Come on down, I promise not to sing again.

Love, Roxy 😉

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-Lourens Loki Corleone

I hate Tuesdays. Well, actually, I lie. I hate Tuesdays while I’m at work, but the nights I have The Akelian Circus at Bella Venezia to look forward to. You don’t know about it? Then you must have been living under a rock the last few weeks.

Student Night. Pizza + 2 Shooters. The Akelian Circus. I think I’ve said enough. Now where was I?

Ah yes – its Tuesday. I was going to do some blogging for y’all yesterday, but my post-weekend fatigue lead to a severe case of procrastination. Today seems like a good day for writing, however, so let’s jump right in with…


My weekend started off well. I was offered a ride home with Brother Dennis “Quirkyshirts” Krige, so besides getting off from work a little earlier, I had the luxury of good company, good music and a few damn good laughs. “Dennis, why are you so grumpy if your shirts are so quirky?”.

Getting home, I was met with a very disturbing sight. Ian “Eaglehart” Kay and Nick “Dragon” Frost were fast asleep, each hogging a couch in the lounge.

I don’t know about you, but I find this kind of behaviour unacceptable, especially coming home from work on a Friday. That said, I let them sleep and Dennis and I got stuck into a fierce Burnout: Paradise party of the Xbox. I won, of course, a fact that I didn’t let Dennis forget. Name-calling and questioning of sexual orientation is then naturally targeted at the defeated opponent, since we are just mature like that.

It was around this time that Nick’s cousin Andrea arrived, ready to party. We tasked her with waking up the fallen brethren, which is not as easy as it might seem. At this point, they have been sleeping right through engines screaming, cars crashing and two really mature twenty-somethings yelling blistering profanities at each other. The only advice I could give her was “Stay out of swinging distance”. Others have not heeded this advice when waking Nick…they are dead now.

Brutal murders aside, I was ready for a night on the town. Eventually everyone was prepared for the night ahead, and we headed to Somerset West’s own infamous Springbok Pub. Back in the day it used to be Townsquare, but after recently opening again as Springboks it has quickly gained favour amongst the crazy/beautiful denizens of Somerset West. (I said it! I said it!)

We did our normal rounds through the venue, making our way to the dance floor bar where Springboks’ famous two-for-one special was in effect. Drink in hand, we started scouting for a table. Somewhere in the middle of all this, we bumped into Phil and Jessie, as well as our new friends Danielle and Kaygan.

We occupied a table on the “Rhodesian Arms” side of the club (though they don’t really call it that in Somerset West) … this is when we hit the time warp.

The whole town seemed to be out and about, as trying to recall everyone that I talked to and saw that night is making my brain tick worryingly. We were joined by Erick Smit, who joined the Wild West blog’s team the same day. Welcome! Where was I? Oh yes, the time warp. Time seemed to speed forward at a blistering pace, for some or other reason I remember the entire night in fast forward, except for one inconsistency…the drinks on the table never decreased, they just seemed to increase! This was thanks to Andrea who, for lack of something even cooler to say, likes to party. So, party we did.

Very soon it was 4 o’clock and our designated driver was put to good use. We headed back to the Eiffel Tower, where our night ended.


What felt like 2 minutes later I woke up, quite sure that I died somewhere during the night. I shuffled unenthusiastically to the lounge but couldn’t muster up the energy to watch anything, so I made use of the bed in our lounge (convenient, no?) to catch up some more dying.

Around 12pm I rose from the dead to some very good news. Andrea’s mother very kindly invited Nick and I for a recovery breakfast at Cafe Picasso, and food seemed like the holy grail my body needed at that moment. A cream soda and a burger later, I felt like a new man. A new man, with food shock.

After breakfast, Nick and I walked to town for undisclosed reasons. This reason NOT being that Nick needed to buy himself some new girl-size jeans. I promise! He also invested in a 2l Stoney, which promised us energy on our walk home. Along the way we met his other cousin, the ever-cool Mike Rainbird, who heroically joined our quest for home, shade and couches.

I have no idea what happened the rest of the afternoon…not that it mattered, because we had a pretty good night ahead of us.

Andrea was keen to join us for another night of debauchery, so around dinner time Ian, Nick and I headed to her place in Gordon’s Bay for some delicious chicken burgers. Nick’s GHD-senses were tingling, and pretty soon I had to witness more hair-straightening that I ever care to see again.  That goes for you too, Ian. Tsk tsk…as if I wouldn’t write about it.

Andrea’s friend Hayley joined us, and we headed down to Long Bar where Kaygan was having her birthday party. It started off nice and chilled, with loads of introductions and conversations populating the early part of the evening. The boys were not complaining…there were beautiful people everywhere! I received a welcome phone call from my brother-by-name Loki, and pretty soon he joined the fray. A bit later, a few more additions unexpectedly walked through the doors. Nick Kuiper, Kaydee and Karen…ready for action.

The night at Long Bar was quite entertaining, the gang of girls looking like they were having a crazy time. Ever hear an 18-year old girl singing Eye Of The Tiger? I have.

After midnight, thoughts turned to the next venue which would inevitably (and luckily) be Springboks. Trying to organise for everyone to get to Somerset West side proved more complicated to plan than a bank heist, so the boys set off on their own, promising to show up at the next venue. We headed to the Eiffel Tower for a pit stop, and then rushed to Springboks.

We were thankful to see Springboks was extremely lively. We also unexpectedly ran into Dennis, who had forsaken us for other things that evening. Phil also joined us, and then the Springboks time warp hit us again. No need to explain what happened next! Very soon the venue was closed, and we were ushered outside.

Being a relatively big group at this point, we were still not ready for the night to be over so a bunch of us decided to head to the Eiffel Tower, while a few others called it a night.

The party at the Eiffel Tower was quite chilled, but cool. Let’s not mention the terrible pasta that was made, but at least the music was good and the drinks were cold. This carried on until daylight struck, at which point I decided to call it a night. Or a day. Whichever you prefer.

Sunday day came and went very quickly, but this was too be expected. Kyle came to visit us at some point, but it seems like I hardly opened my eyes before it seemed that Nick and Phil were busy getting ready for The Akelian Circus gig. Actually, I think this might be because they actually headed towards Nameless relatively early, with some Valentines Day event happening.

Slightly reluctantly and slightly fragile, I decided to go with after some convincing from Nick Frost’s side.

I hate missing the Akelian Circus, and it turned out to be the perfect end to my weekend, as always, so see you all next Sunday night!

Oh and as a last thought… has anyone heard the new Die Antwoord song? It’s available for download at their website. It’s called ‘Fish Paste’ and it’s rough… but awesome!

Also, I’ll be adding in more photos as I get them, be sure to check facebook for updates from my side.

Till next time, love you all.

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The Question? The Answer: The Truth

-Lourens Loki Corleone

So, brothers and sisters, we find ourselves in a very interesting time for local music.

For a long period of its existence, South Africa was cut off from the outside world and locally produced entertainment had to adhere to old-fashioned values and sentiments.

So, when the veil lifted we seemed to make a grab for every shred of international culture we could. We were hungry for something new, something fresh.

In the span of just a few years we lost a lot of who we are in the raging torrent of outside influences. Every 20- or thirty-something woman wanted to be Carrie from Sex & the City, every teenage girl wanted to be Britney or Amy Lee, every boy wanted to be Bam Margera or James Hepburn and the men…well, the men just kept watching rugby religiously like nothing has changed.

By the time we hit the 2000’s, we were slaves to what the world wants us to be. Not that we lost our culture…no, not at all. We saw the acceptance of the world as a act of rebellion against the older, more conservative generation.

Then, something strange happened. The older generation, maybe remembering their own youth, started accepting the strangeness and chaos that seem to define our generation, and we didn’t like it one bit. No Sir.

What do you do to liberate yourselves and at the same time manage to shock a generation that has been battered and bruised by the times so much, they are numb and blind to your constant changing “scene”?

My theory is this: The truth.

We have rejected big parts of our own culture for so long, that it has become the next big step in defining who we are while still being foreign enough to keep the generation gap intact. Why we (subconsciously) feel the need for this is a whole different debate, of course.

Instead of burying ourselves deep in foreign culture, it seems as though we realised that just showing our true colours would be enough to shake the foundations we love to taunt so much.

Why not scratch the stereotypes wide open? Why not speak the truth about the world our generation finds itself in? Not only can we all relate, but we can finally free ourselves from our self-imposed cultural shackles that hold us back as a people and as a country.

So, what is the secret behind this revelation?

Like many things in this world, it all starts with music. Pioneers like Die Antwoord have shocked us all by telling us exactly what we want to hear: The truth.

Singing and rapping about their own experiences seem to cultural barriers as we all have the same hopes, the same dreams and the same country we call home.

This started a tidalwave that is still going strong, even spawning collaborations with other established local artists, so I suggest looking at these videos. It speaks much louder than I could ever explain:

Die Antwoord – Enter The Ninja (dirty version)

Die Heuwels Fantasties feat. Jack Parow – Die Vraagstuk

Jack Parow – Cooler As Ekke

All I know is, “never seen zef so fre$h”!


Filed under Ramblings, Videos

Talkin’ About A Revolution

-Lourens Loki Corleone

I know, I know. You’ve missed me. Happy new year! It’s been about a month since my last post and I humbly apologise for my shameless procrastination. It won’t happen again, I promise!

new years 2009

Well, it might happen again. You know I can’t lie to you. Although, I do promise to keep it to a minimum.

This, in a strangely roundabout way, brings me to my next topic. This blog. Nick and I have been discussing how it has evolved into more than we originally considered. Readers have dramatically increased, most of the posts fall under the “Chronicles” section and it has very little to do with Nick Frost Music, besides Mr. Frost being co-author and his gigs being mentioned periodically.

That said, we love the way the blog has turned out and in the spirit of progress, we decided that very very soon we are going to rename the blog and the url to something a bit more appropriate. The Wild West. We also plan to add an author or three to the roster, so if you feel you have what it takes to contribute stories about your weekends or (mis)adventures, feel free to email me at with an example of your work. I know, my posts tend to be lengthy in nature (but you love it, you know you do) so I don’t necessarily expect the same: Your style, your post, your personality. That is all I ask!

This is all still early days though, we might not expand for quite a while…it all depends on your reaction, now doesn’t it? So, let the games begin!

Okay, so where were we? Oh yes, it’s been a month, blah blah. Here goes:

Friday night. Friday night. After the week that I had, Friday night seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel, the messiah to my weekly social pariah.

Well, not quite, but it seems like that sometimes. Getting home from work on a Wednesday only to find your best friends bronzed from a day at the beach or having to go to sleep while a lucky few who choose their own hours get to socialize until the break of dawn does tend to tip the scale on my Murder-O-Meter.

When Friday arrives, my friends are bound by contract to never back down, never surrender … until Monday kicks me in the balls again.

So, when I got home on Friday I gathered the troops (myself, Nick, Ian, Dennis, Phil, Lauren, Jess, Jess) and we set forth to The Nameless Pub for one of the highlights of my weekend: The 357’s /  Ragdolls / Sleepers gig.

Fearing what the turnout would be like, I promoted the gig quite enthusiastically all over Facebook but I was still a bit nervous. This would be the first time that the Wild West (catchy, ain’t it?) would be hosting The Ragdolls and The Sleepers and I wanted to welcome them with as much vigour as our town could muster.

The turnout was great. I’ve seen better, but then it involves Heldervue, Change of View and after-payday wallets. So, I was happy. Very happy.

I was particularly glad that I manage to see a few people that I rarely have the pleasure of seeing in person (which is a terribly shame, I really have to kick myself into action). Two of my school friends were there, namely Steven and Heinrich: Two of my favourite people. Steven was accompanied by his prettier half, Natasje.

Also, I FINALLY manage to at least have more than a 5-minute drunken encounter (whoa, that sounds terrible…who writes this smut?) with the fantastic Tecla, who I seem to only ever run into when we are both heading in opposite directions (see, I told you there was an innocent explanation…psssh). I also got to hang with Sarah. The Pope doesn’t know it yet, but I’m totally carving her name onto my desk, right next to Brody Dalle.

So, the night opened with The 357’s who are quickly gaining popularity. I am losing count how many people tell me that this is one of their favourite local bands. I sadly only saw the second half of their set, but it sounded great…as always. It was also bassist Chris’ birthday so not only were they on the ball, they were in celebration mode. Good going, guys.

Next up were the Ragdolls. Now, the fact that I have never seen Sarah and her band live before has been a topic of ridicule for quite a while now. The amount of times I’ve managed to be busy while they are performing somewhere is horrendous, but I finally made up for it and boy, was it worth it. The Ragdolls explode of the stage like a bat out of hell, with Sarah’s unique voice leaving the crowd speechless. Well, speechless except for Nick Kuiper who kept yelling “Oh my god! They fucking rock!” in my ear. Words of wisdom Mr. Kuiper. The rest of her crew were great as well, rock solid. Great show, guys! Not long after it was The Sleepers’ turn, and they didn’t disappoint either. Very, very cool! The lead singer’s has a great voice and they have a sound that will get them far. I am looking forward to seeing then as by this time the alcohol was kicking in and my A.D.D kicked into full swing.

It was around this time that Mike Smith (editor of YourLMG Magazine and all-round cool guy) and I had a conversation about the nature of the Wild West’s nightlife and the severe lack of dedicated ROAR or Mercury-quality live music venues. I smell a business opportunity…Dibs!

Afterwards we headed back towards The Eiffel Tower, where we had the music going until close on 5am. Our neighbours must hate us.

Did I mention that this was also our good friend Amelia’s farewell party? She’s leaving for Amsterdam. Good luck, girl…we will miss you like crazy.

Saturday morning arrived unexpectedly, and the hunger set in. Jess, Ian and Michelle left to buy food and arrived back with the most disgusting little pie-things that I’ve ever tasted. I can’t really describe the taste to you, but it was the food equivalent of the sound a cat makes when it is in heat. I spit it out, and ate an apple. El naturale!

Very soon it was time for Nameless again. My good friend Heather Waters was performing, joined with Nat and the Beanstalks.

Scotty and Adriana decided to join us, and the night was under way!

Nat and the Beanstalks were up first, and had the crowd dancing along with her covers like “Talkin’ About A Revolution” and a few originals thrown into the mix. Very chilled, but great. I also think the drummer girl is super cute, but I won’t type that out loud.

D’oh! Moving swiftly along…

Next up were Heather Waters and the Eiffel Towers, as I like to call them. Actually,  I’ve never called them that before, but seeing as the entire band (except for Heather) live at the Eiffel Tower, I think at least on or two jokes are in order. I will think up some more so long. Patience is a virtue.

With Briers doing the sound, everything sounded great! I do love her music, I’m quite sentimental about it – especially since I was on tour with them middle 2007.

When the gig was done we all decided to head to Springboks… and that is where it all goes wrong. Well, I say “wrong” but I mean “too much tequila”. I am told stories of jumping on basins, jumping out of cars…I was in the mood for jumping, it seems. Somewhere along the night, possibly because of a diet during the day that consisted of not much at all I was slightly caught of guard and, uncharacteristically, got blazingly liquored.

In any case, we arrived at home in piece and not long after I decided that sleep was the best idea possible, seeing as it was already light outside.

I woke up, and immediately I wasn’t sure whether I was dead or not. It was also after 3 in the afternoon. It wasn’t as much “beauty sleep” as “coma and possible brain damage”. I immediately swore to never drink again, and not long after I found myself sitting in Nameless once again, vodka and cream soda in my hand.

Take it easy, people. I only had one or two to cure my hangover. Promise.

So, as I said, suddenly I was in Nameless again. Just before we left I made myself Sunday lunch which consisted of baked potatoes and pork chops, so I was in food shock.

Food Shock (n) def: The hour or so after you eat large quantities of food in the middle of a raging hangover where you feel worse rather than better.

It was time for The Akelian Circus, and besides the blackmail and being-called-girls-names that led to me being there I was excited. They always put on a great show, and ends off my weekend perfectly. I love seeing so many of my friends all at once.

Despite a scary ginger man with a tooth missing jumping around the place, it was a good night! We were also joined by new acquaintances Danielle and Kaygan, who left way too early. Tsk tsk!

I am not one to talk though. Around 11pm Ian and I decided that it is time to take our leave and while The Akelian Circus were busy with their final set we walked home to a house made of couches, Xbox 360, Frankenstein cigarettes and Supernatural.

That is how my night ended, folks. I loved every minute of it! Oh, Rebecca, I totally googled “La Fille Morte Vivente”. You were spot on, as expected:

Living Dead Girl.

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The Eiffel Tower Family – Part 1

-Lourens Loki Corleone

Well, after recently being inspired by one of Rox’s new blog posts,  I decided it would be a good idea to introduce all the colourful characters that you always read about on here. This is Part 1, since the posts would be WAY too long if I mentioned all of you lovely people at once.

So, with no particular order in mind, let’s start at the logical place: The blog’s namesake:

Occupying one of the three bedrooms in the Eiffel Tower, Nick also doubles as emergency housekeeper, talented musician, is one of the founding members of iamlovechild, freelance graphic designer, songwriter, freelance video editor and part of the mysterious organisation known as the “Core bro’s”.

His natural habitat is sitting behind his laptop which is conveniently located by the bar, but he has also been spotted on the couch, his bedroom and the kitchen. These sightings are few and far between though, but keep an eye out…you never know!

He is also sometimes seen playing a guitar or on the drums. Sometimes, if you are lucky, he can also be found behind the drums playing them. This is usually followed by bouts of swearing at sound guys and dodging Phil (who we will get to later) as he falls over.

He responds to “John”, “Frank”, “Frankenberry”, “Jeremiah”, “Jehosafat”, “Romulus”, “Snickerfloss” and sometimes “Nick”.

Favourite food? Anything he doesn’t have to make himself.

That all said and done, next up on our list is:

Occupying the largest bedroom in the house, Nick Kuiper is our resident human jukebox, cat-feeder, noise level-reduction agent, music teacher, professional guitarist, bass player, hard rocker, vienna eater, beer drinking expert and buyer of electricity.

His natural habitat is his trusty couch, but he has also been spotted scratching in the freezer or in his bedroom. When not participating in any of these activities, Nick is teaching his love of rock & roll to the next generation (a worthy cause, I feel) or messing up his hair whilst doing his thing on stage.

He has been known to kick the walls of his house and to shout at people on the phone, but all-of-the-above definitely deserved it. I promise.

He responds to “Nick”, “Nick Kuiper”, “Sir”, “Ben Hur” and “Only Person Who Always Has Cigarettes” and “Core bro”.

Favourite food? Nick Kuiper’s favourite food is McDonalds or KFC, especially if he is the only one eating it.

Hmmm…so, who is third up? Let’s take a look:

Ian is one of the new residents in the Eiffel Tower and resides in the room we nicknamed the Opium Den, named after a private joke we made the day we first moved into the house.

Ian is our resident Internet Marketer and SEO Specialist, and spends most of his time in our roof doing research on how to make us all filthy rich in the near future. Believe! He is also our resident boogeyman, late-nite-bass-noise-enthusiast, Marlboro Red smoker and is also part of the “Core Bro” organisation. He is also a member of ‘iamlovechild’.

Ian does not like walks on the beach, and doesn’t really like daylight either. He is often known to hide in dark corners and is frequently seen complaining about a lack of milk in the house.

He responds to “E”, which pisses me off as THERE IS NO FUCKING E IN HIS NAME. Thankfully, he also responds to “A”, “I”, “O”, “U”, “Vowel” and sometimes “Y”.

His favourite food is anything that would piss off conservationists, green peace or PETA.

Next up is your truly, me:

Well, this is weird. What do I write about myself? Okay, here is a deal. I give you all 10 seconds to telepathically send me questions to the past, to the exact moment that I am typing this.

Okay, that didn’t work at all. Next time try harder.

I live in the Eiffel Towerand I lead a bit of a double life, having a day job in IT but also being one of the co-founders of ‘iamlovechild’. Pretty much, my job entails trying to co-ordinate a dozen people with severe ADD, OCD and many other acronyms as well. The only other ‘role’ I have is rolling down hill. Okay, that was lame, so we should definitely cross telling jokes off the list.

I am the resident wannabe chef in the house, my speciality being Bachelor Chow (patent pending) and creating something edible from not much at all. Oh, and I am part of the “Core Bro” organisation too.

I respond (it seems) to Lourens, Loki, Lo, Slowrinse (damn you, Roxanne!!!), Bloukrans, Krans and “I’m hungry”. My favourite food is anything geeky.

Okaaaay then, lets move right along:

Dennis is the one of the  “Core Bro” members that do not in fact reside at the Eiffel Tower, but also one of the members that would be welcome to…and who also might as well, since his natural habitat is our couch, whilst playing Xbox 360.

Dennis is a sound engineer, and has also recently been granted a slot on a radio station as a DJ. Yeah! We trust his rise to fame will be filled with scandal, booze and infamy…just the way he likes it.

Dennis is also our local source of new and interesting profanities, since his angry outbursts manage to string together rude words like a fine quilt, if Satan had woven it himself. Sometimes, normal words even take on a whole new meaning. Truly a pioneer.

He responds to “Dennis”, “Deny”, “Deny the Demon”, “Denise”, “Dude”, “Hey Mr. DJ, Shut The Fuck Up” and “Bro-Tastic”.

His favourite food is anything he can shoot with a gun.

Quickly now, let’s get to the next person:

Phil likes to bleed his own blood. Often. Just recently, Phil walked into the house with scabs on his arms from falling…somewhere.

While not living at the Eiffel Tower, Phil is also of the visitors that frequent our beloved home. Actually, calling him a visitor is not correct. To many of us, it is a second home and we are all a rag-tag family. Phil plays bass for Heldervue owns Bandhouse Productions, is a member of ‘iamlovechild’ and also…he likes to party. Hell hath no fury like Phil with a beer in his hands and a ciggie in his mouth. “Core bro” represent!

Also, he sings. Fucking well.

Phil’s natural habitat is a random couch at the Tower, watching Entourage, or the closest bar he can find.

He responds to “Phil”, “Phillys”, “Phlap”, “Philthy”, “Phillet Steak”, “Philanthropist”, “Philemon” or “Holy shit! It’s Phil!” and his favourite food is pizza that he buys but everyone else eats, without them leaving him any.

Who’s up next?  Have a gander at:

Rox hasn’t been around for as long as some of the others, but frequently calls dibs on one of the comfortable couches that we have, leaving others to rearrange their spines on the uncomfy ones. Nice!

She cooks fantastically, and is also quite the vocalist. No, I’m not talking about her beautiful voice (which she has), I’m talking about her yelling at people after a few tequila’s…or before. “Kykie, kykie…FOK JOU!”

She responds to “Rochelle”, “Roxy”, “Rox”, “Nice Hotpants” and “Girl Who Sings Angel”

Her favourite food is anything she can serve to her boys, namely us.

Next up is:

“Little” Lauren is one of the few girls that is ever allowed to join in on a bro night for one reason: “Never seen zef so fresh!”

Besides being a fantastic graphic designer and photographer, she is also an accomplished party animal and the typical Girl Next Door that makes her everyone’s favourite pint-sized blond girl.

Her natural habitat is wherever there is a beat going, or behind he camera.

She responds to “Lauren”, “Little Lauren”, “La”, “Ren”, or “Zef so Fresh”.

Her favourite food is Soul Food…

…and that brings me to the end of  Part 1! In the next post you can look forward to some interesting snippets about Juliette, Kyle and the rest of the close family!

Lots of love,



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Back in Black

– Lourens Loki Corleone

Another weekend has come and gone; and now Monday is molesting me with hard labour.

However, there is a bright side; I now have to try and recall all of the events from the past weekend so that I can relay them to you in a timely and entertaining fashion.

Let’s see how I do…
If you have been reading this blog faithfully, you will remember the first post we ever did in The Chronicles section. It was entitled The Weekend We Almost Took Over The World and in all sense of the phrase, that weekend was the start of Season 1.

It was also the weekend that we met the Durbanville girls; and if you want to know about (most of) the chaos that ensued, go read it bitch.
In any case, Friday would be the first time since back then that we would see them again, and we were looking forward to it. But I am getting ahead of myself, so let’s take a few steps back.

We were approached by Moshpit Muse to play a gig in Bellville at a venue called Ellingtons Saloon. We were slightly apprehensive as to what the place would be like, but Nick agreed as he was quite keen to play again. Tonight was the night!

We had planned the night in advance, and at the end of the day we decided that (for the most part) the core bro’s would all attend this particular night.
So, present were myself, Nick Frost, Dennis, Ian Kay, Roxy and Loki Swanepoel (who had just returned from Amsterdam 2 days prior) … we were ready for a night on the town. Now, Roxy is obviously not of the male persuasion but The Bro’s and I have long since established a short-list of girls that qualify as a “bro” – meaning: ‘does not get in the way on a bro night‘ and ‘holds their own‘.

So we were off. We were, predictably, late and we hadn’t even left Somerset West when we recieved a call from Kirsty asking where we were. Shocking.
Thirty minutes and a load of lucky detours later we arrived at Ellingtons, only to find that it was right across the road from Danskraal; a name that I had hoped never to have to ever type in my life.
We sucked it up, and started unpacking.

The venue inside was surprisingly clean and spacious, but I do take offence to the fact that it calls itself a “saloon”. It didn’t meet the criteria that I feel comes with such a name:

1. No swinging saloon doors to burst through dramatically.
2. No guy playing a piano that suddenly stops and looks over his shoulder on my entry.
3. No shady characters sitting around a table playing poker that also stop what they are doing to look at me as I enter.

However, on the upside, they had the shady clientelle covered. To be fair, besides the Moshpit Muse crew and the bands and their friends, most of the other patrons were very clearly of the Bellville persuasion.
I distinctly remember one of them wearing a “Bellville Breker” t-shirt, and he was one of the classy ones. I kid you not. This one giganticly fat asshole was a particular fine example of what a genetic cul-de-sac looks like. You know the type; sitting in his corner drinking beer out of what looks like a trough; shouting insults at whoever chooses to not actually pretend that they are a farmer just because they have a 4×4.
FUCK OFF with your “jean pant”, please!

Okay, but that all said and done, I did have a lot of fun. When we arrived we joined Kylie, Kim and Kirsty (The KKK) and a few of their other friends at a table and sat back to watch the bands.
First up was The Faded.
You know when a band goes on stage and you take one look at them and say to yourself: “Oh no…” because you realise that you will have to sit through eardrum-destroying screeching for the next 45 minutes? You know that feeling? Well…


Let me be the first person to apologize for judging a band just because they seemed young and nervous. Hey, don’t judge me!
The lead singer (Ricky) wore his cap backwards on his head. I had all the right in the world to judge…

…and then they started.

Wow! I love hearing fresh talent with real potential on the scene. These boys have a very mature sound, were solid enough to be taken seriously and handled the few covers that they played with super-serial style; PLUS, the lead singer has an impressive voice, especially considering his age (and size).
He pulled off the songs with almost NO slip-ups, but I did find myself thinking that the nature of the songs don’t do his voice justice – he projected well in the few parts where he had to cut loose and sing a bit higher.

This is what he should definitely focus on. Their lead guitarist also had a lot of potential and handled some complicated guitarwork with definite prowess.
I don’t want to seem like I am singling out those two in particular though – as a unit, the band were surprisingly good.
I have to admit that they won some points with me for covering “Check Yes Juliet” by We The Kings. It normally gets stuck in my head for days.

Smexi people!

Next up was Killing Nights. We were looking forward to seeing them since Nick knows Kevin (lead vocalist) and I used to be in highschool with Albert van Zyl, the lead guitarist.
I don’t feel quite safe commenting on them since it was not my style of music, but Albert entertained me with some good guitar work and Kevin was pretty solid on the vocals. These guys shouldn’t have too much of a problem with popularity since their style is very much on the Prime Circle side of things. If that is your scene, definitely look these boys up – they will definitely get your party going.

Third up was NFM. It was way past eleven, and after 10 minutes of sound checking he was good to go.

The Bellville crowd did not know what hit them. I won’t say more about this… I would rather have the footage speak for itself!

For more , go check over HERE.

“Belee dat!”.

Yes. Now times that by 50.

When Nick was finished, we decided to have ‘one more’ drink before heading off. The Durbanville girls had a destination in mind and since we were hanging with them, we followed.

On their request we headed to Edwards Street, a side of the world that I am also not very familiar with, but I knew my way around. Not long after, we were in Cafe Venizia and the music was pumping.

It isn’t a particularly large venue but the barstaff were quick to help and the music wasn’t all that bad, not being quite my taste.
So, all things considered, a cool little place… expensive though. (I do realise that my concept of pricing is a bit different seeing that in the Wild West you can buy a double + mix for less that a draught).

After 2AM somewhere, we decided that it is time to change locations. The girls suggested that we go down to the dam near their house. This sounded fantastic, so off we went! We made a pitstop for a few bottles of wine and some blankets, naturally, so we were set for the rest of the night.

The dam was a very cool spot. A few cars drove past us suspiciously, but I don’t think we looked the criminal types… not sure if that is a good thing. A few people decided to stay in the cars, including Nick and Kylie.

In any case, we found a bench and Kim and I annexed it first, shortly before squeezing up to make space for Loki and Esna. The rest of the crowd had to stand, unfortunately, but at this point I was too cold to care… at least we had wine, cigarettes and good company.

rox and frosty

Not too much later Dennis and Esna decided to hit the road, at which point we realised that not all of us are going to be able to fit into my car. I gave my keys to Nick so that him and a few others could go on a cigarette run and myself, Kim, Ian and Kirsty decided to suck it up and walk home. It wasn’t that far but try it at 4:30 in the morning in the freezing wind…

I’m not complaining! Really!

In any case, we arrived at Kirsty’s house way before the others came back from the cigarette run so we decided to make ourselves comfortable on the tarmac outside the garage. More wine did the rounds, but we were all dying for a cigarette and hunger was starting to set in.
Luckily we managed to drown it with some good conversation and a few good laughs. Really cool girls, those.

Not much later the rest showed up and after chilling for a little bit more we decided that we had to mission home. Yes, folks… it was getting light and we were still in the heart of Durbanville.
We said our goodbyes and off we went. The drive home felt like it took for hours…I kept myself pretty sober so I was the obvious choice to drive but at that point in the morning, fatigue started to set in. Not pretty. We made it safely home as always, and after acknowledging a really cool night, myself, Nick and Ian went our seperate ways to try and catch some shut-eye. This was about 6am.

Way too soon…


My alarm started screeching at me at 9am. Yes… 9am.

Did I mention that my alarm started screeching at 9am? I did? It was the morning of our first “Wake & Bake” shoot so we had to perform.

So I begrudgingly got out of bed and I walk over to Nick’s room to try and wake him; it was like trying to wake someone up from a coma. I decided that it was way too much effort to try any further, so Itook a shower to wake myself up first… only to find that the water was freezing. Someone had turned off the geyser and forgotten to turn it back on, most likely me. Dammit.

With no milk for coffee and no shower to wake me up I realised that time was moving scarily fast. A half an hour later we were on our way to Stellenbosch. A quick pitstop for some beverages and I was feeling better too.

We arrived at Bello’s at about 10:15, and nobody was there. Ian had lent me his phone so I frantically tried to find anyone involved’s number on facebook; but to no avail. I went back to the car and decided that at least we had time for some extra planning.

At around 11, the rest of the crew showed up; namely Fourie Pretorius, Lize Kay and Simon Gerber.
Simon and Lize both represent LifeAfter5 with whom iamlovechild has built a relationship and Fourie owns Bello’s, drums for Heldervue, and is a close friend of ours.
Lize was cast to be our first guest-presenter since she has made quite a name for herself on MFM and MK, as well as her very honest band/gig reviews.

The filming.

We took about an hour or so to pre-plan what we were about to do and I used most of that time to prep the location and set up the camera shots. I was filming using a tripod and Nick was going hand-held to give the takes a very dynamic feel.

I am going to reserve my thoughts about the filming besides that we were busy for about 4 hours and I had loads of fun, and we managed some GREAT footage – for whoever is reading this, keep your eyes peeled for “Wake & Bake” … you are going to love it!

If you are interested in seeing the teaser trailer, check it over HERE:

I left Stellenbosch tired but extremely happy. I really can’t wait for my next taste of show business, so hopefully we will manage to make it a regular affair.

I raced home and jumped in bed. Until about 6pm I was dead to the world! Not long after I had woken up, Simon Gerber arrived for our next round of filming:

Getting Drunk For Science

Glacau Vitamin Water had sent LifeAfter5 a case of mixed flavour vitamin waters so that we can test whether it alleviates a basic hangover. We thought this a good and entertaining cause so for the next few hours we filmed (very scientifically, I promise) each of us either drinking alcohol mixed with the water, alongside the water or without the water so that we could compare hangovers. We had a fun night – participants were myself, Nick Frost, Simon Gerber, Loki Swanepoel and the lovely Roxy Bayman.

If you are curious about the results, watch this space – we will have the video up soon!


On Sunday, time and space became completely irrelevant. I was woken up at some ungodly hour by… I have no idea who. I really don’t. In any case, a cup of coffee was shoved in my face and I had to slowly start waking up to do the last session of filming: the morning after.

As my brain started gearing up I realised that the fact that it IS actually gearing up is quite a surprise. I felt quite fatigued but I had no headache; no other symptoms; essentially no hangover.

Turns out that our experiment was a resounding success seeing as Loki (who was not drinking the vitamin water but was drinking the same amount as us) looked like death incarnate and according to him, he was convinced that he was dying.

Big ups to Glacau, I say!

The rest of the day was a blur of movies, series, food, cigarettes and laziness. I decided that I was not going to make the Akelian Circus, since my funds were running quite low. It was heart-breaking. Never miss an Akelian Circus until you have been to about a hundred – and even then, only one or two misses are forgiveable.

True story!

All I know is I headed to bed around 1am, and the house was still void of life… but I also know that I was woken up not too long after with a Big Mac McMeal being presented to me by the Frost and Roxy.

That’s how we roll. That, however, is the end of my tale. More to come soon… I promise.

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