Sound Effects and Overdramatics

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Lourens Corleone…Take it away.

So, friends, as I write this I find myself again slaving away through a blue Monday, the demands of society once again compelling us to spend half (or more) of our day doing completely the opposite of what we would rather be doing. It is life’s little irony, I feel.
Every dog day afternoon brings us a little closer to the End, and at some point that is what we strive for. The End of the day, the End of the Week, the End of the month, the End of the year…
But fear not, gracious reader! This may sound like a dreary, monotonous existence, but for two nights every week, we have the opportunity to take our revenge and yes, brothers and sisters – revenge is a dish definitely best served CRUNK.


Our weekend had begin. I arrived home last (as usual) and the house was pretty quiet (???). I had just picked up Rox Bayman, and we were in the mood to party. The house was pretty quiet, the usual suspects were there but seeing as myself and Nick had not a CENT on our name (a unfortunate side-effect of AH1N1 that they don’t tell you about in the papers) we were low on everything, alcohol definitely included. Roxy had a single bottle of Four Cousins sweet red with her which we secreted away stealthily (Keep it secret, keep it safe!)

So, a well-guarded glass of wine in my hand, and the evening was off to a sluggish but entertaining start…and slowly but surely, the rest of the gang started to poke their heads around our infamous front door.
Very soon we had a whole heap of the regular crowd listening to music and playing pool. This included myself, Nick Frost, Nick Kuiper, Phil Joubert, Jess Johnstone, Andrea Chapman, Dennis Krige, Loki Swanepoel, Roxy Bayman and two friends of Nick K.
Soon we were joined by more of our very good friends, Lauren Hochfelden and Juliette Starke. Lauren only popped in, as she was heading in a different direction.

Then, a miracle happened. Loki turned water into a 5 litre box of Namaqua Natural Sweet Rose (“Try me!”). Yes, my friends. The Eiffel Tower glowed bright in awe of this monumental occurance, and for a while after we all felt a warm glow of happiness. For a moment, just a moment, the whole world seemed at peace.
Following the “Big Bang”, we continued as we were and opened our door in welcome of those in seach of a party. Pretty soon we were joined by more of our good friends, Paul and Gideon from Yes Sir! Mister Machine and their friends Gerhard and Matt. The house was filling up, and things were getting crazy. How crazy, you may ask? All I know is, at some point the house was booming with everything from Marilyn Manson to zef rap rave, and even some Dutch / Flemish hip-hop……

At some point during all the madness, we deemed it a good idea to go to The Nameless Pub, our local stomping grounds. Most of us decided to go, except for one or two friends that decided to hold the fort. Who all decided to join at Nameless? Hell if I know, but it was awesome.
Nameless was packed, but alas…most of us were poor boys (bad time of the month). We pathetically scraped together some cents for a drink or two, and to our surprise we were handed a handful of fake money notes which, apparently, we had to go “gamble” with. Turns out that winning was pretty easy with a good strategy, and that the currency was not money – it was vodka shots.

Many, many, many of these occured. Just how many? We would rather not disclose this information. I also met up with Nicholas (yes, another one), a friend that I know from the Prophecy forums ( that I frequent at work that happens to stay in Somerset West as well. He joined us for the rest of the night, and I am pretty sure that our crazy rag-tag entourage freaked the living bejeezus out of him. You know, those troubling 5 minutes before you realise we are not a) cartoon characters b) superheroes or c) cannibals.

We returned to the Eiffel Tower relatively unscathed and in high spirits, only to find Lauren and Julz watching music videos in my bedroom.
We turned up the volume (our neighbours must hate us), and inevitably Die Antwoord started crooning out their fantastic zef rap rave, followed closely by Lauren and I acting like fools all around the room, much to the amusement of our other visitors, including Nicholas, who I had invited to come and check out the Eiffel Tower…

…and then I woke up. Well, I think I woke up. I am not sure how many senses you need to qualify as sentient, but all I know is I qualified as “alive” by the thinnest of margins – and I was not alone.


Slowly but surely, the Eiffel Tower started waking up. If you want to know what the Eiffel Tower looks like on a Saturday morning, feel free to rent “28 Days Later”. Zombies, food hoarding, survival of the fittest…all of these are themes we can definitely relate to.
So, being one of the first people awake, I was lucky enough to beat the other zombies to the last scrap of food in the house (we had 12 hours to go before we had money again) which was followed closely by me sprawling myself on the couch under a duvet, hiding from the light and the world.

Juliette returned from having to run a few errands, and mysteriously a few people disappeared from the house – returning to caves of their own most likely. Nick and Phil continued to work on the promotional video for Heldervue, with Julz and myself stomping around the house – restless and recovering.
Too soon, the afternoon was drawing to a close. I had not done anything productive but hey – it was Saturday! While Nick was practicing for his NFM gig, the rest of us (feeling a lot better – thank God for Cream Soda!) showered and got ready for the next ‘whatever’ the evening was going to bring us.

Strangely enough, we all were heading in different directions, a rare occurance for a close-knit group such as ourselves. Lauren had asked me to accompany her to a friend’s 21st in Stellenbosch; Kyle, Sylvia and Julz were also heading to Stellenbosch but to a different party and Nick Frost, along with Richard and Nick Kuiper, was heading to Cafe Mokka for a NFM gig. He will be posting about what happened on his leg of the evening soon, don’t y’all worry now!

Dressed up and looking smashing, Lauren & I headed to the 21st in Stellenbosch. It was taking place at the Van Der Stel sports club, and it turns out the pub is inside the main pavilion – very nice! The theme was “Under The Sea”, so we were greeted with boys and girls in scuba gear, beach wear… you get the idea.
We soon had a drink in (each?) hand, and as the night progressed the beer and brandy & cokes started flowing! It is always strange being at an event where you know almost nobody, but we never let that stop us. Some dancing even occured, which is why I am not being dragged to god-knows-where next week for more of the same, Lauren being the only person who could talk me into it! If you are reading this, I might already be dead. Don’t mourn me, brothers & sisters. I am in a better place now – a grave. No Afrikaans house music can get me there!

As the party drew to a close, we decided on our next course of action – Mystics.
An old favourite of ours, if we happen to be spending time in Stellenbosch, the odds are we would end up spending a large chunk of our evening within its alluring walls. We also knew that it was likely that this would be the place of rendevouz with Kyle, Julz and Silly. We were right! I also recieved a phone call from Ferdi & Naomi (who recently got engaged – Mosoltov!) and they would be joining us as well.
Walking into Mystics can be quite an experience on its own. Fighting your way to the bar, you realise that the crowd catered for, tend to lean towards the alternative culture… which is fantastic. All the beautiful people had come out to play, and the music was sending my brain into sonic euphoria as the sickest drum&bass was playing.
Ferdi & I caught up on some broversation, and Naomi and Lauren hit the dancefloor. I also noticed a friend of my sister, Bronwyn, whom I haven’t seen in a long time! Naturally, Le Frass (Julz’ man) was there as well. He was hard at work… or was it hardly working? I forget! Mystics…ah. It’s what Cheers would be like if it was in the middle of a tropical hurricane.

Not soon after, it was my turn. I hit the dancefloor like a bat out of hell, but I was definitely not the exception. The beat had everyone’s feet on fire! Lauren was feeling the late hour, and had a seat next to the DJ box to catch a second wind.
It was around that time that our prediction came true (with the help of a phonecall, of course). The troublesome trio had arrived! Sylvia joined me for some more dancing, and then we went off in search of the rest of the bunch.

Time speeds up in Mystics, and before we knew it, it was after 3am…closer to 3h30 to be precise. Le Frass’ shift ended, and we decided to head towards his place. A few other odd occurences won’t be mentioned at this time!

After chilling out to some Her Pretty Face and A Perfect Circle at his flat, I decided to head home. Sylvia joined me, and the rest of the crew decided that they are not moving until the morning….couldn’t blame them! The road back felt long and slightly eerie, with no signs of life to be seen anywhere…

…until I got home.
Now, it being about 5am in the morning at this point, I had expected to have to knock frantically on windows and doors until someone wakes up to let me in the house (I had given my keys to Amelia, Dennis and Pixi who were off on their own mission). As I got home, the world exploded into noise and colour as I walk straight into Nick, Amelia, Pixi, Rox and Phil still partying around the house. Not too long after, it was definitely…


I woke up quite late on Sunday, to the sound of Michael and Clara arriving at the house, only to remember that a power outage was scheduled for most of the day. It took me another hour to wake up decently, and I had to recovered scattered bodies around the house who were all equally slowly returning to life.

At midday we had decided – food is of vital importance, but without the ability to use electricity we had to resort to other methods of feeding out grumbling stomachs.

Nick, having been paid, decided that we needed to visit our local supermarket so Nick, Mike, Phil and I set off in Phil’s car, leaving Clara to hold the fort. We were very successful in our shopping excursion. First stop was Phil’s house for some meat and firewood, and the next stop was Checkers for some actual shopping. Savoury breads and other necessities were purchased, and we headed home just in time to meet the rest of the iamlovechild gang and a few other friends who were invited. Attending were myself, Nick Frost, Clara, Sylvia, Kyle, Phil, Lauren, Juliette and Amelia, and we were also graced by the presence of Michael Rainbird and Rox Bayman.

I set about braaiing, being the only Afrikaans-born male in attendance. We all agreed that this is the natural order of things, and that English males can only make girly fires. Fact. English males reading this, I would be worried but at least I know I won’t die by fire. Then again, you guys did win the war by cheating, so I think we are all even.

As the meat sizzled on the fire, the iamlovechild meeting started… and for three hours, as you have come to expect, we disappeared off the face of the planet. True story! The iamlovechild Soft Launch Party is on the 12th of September, and space is limited… check it out on facebook!

Around 5pm, Nick Kuiper and Phil headed to The Nameless Pub to start setting up for the Akelian Circus gig. Nick Frost and Richard headed to the d*Frost band room for some more equipment, and when they returned we set off on our own little missions before the gig started. I was joined by my sister-in-spirit Juliette Stark, and we dropped Brother Nick Frost off at Nameless Pub and took a detour to pick up our good friend and fellow pseudo-sibling, Lauren Hochfelden.

The night had begun, and one or two drinks later the Akelian Circus started with a BANG.

To explain, the Akelian Circus (derived from ‘acoustic’ and ‘chameleon’) is the name that was concieved to collectively describe an acoustic gig performed by an ever-changing but always familiar group of musicians and artists from our social circle. The ‘circus’ part is important because that is the only way to describe the brilliance and chaos that ensues when the  event takes place.
Performing were Phil Joubert, Nick Frost, Nick Kuiper, Richard Kuiper, Julian Bach, Dax Frost, Rox Bayman and Juliette Stark with an awesome guest appearance by Gavin Marshall. I was dragged on to stage for our quite awful but amazingly ‘gees’ rendition of “On My Own” by The Used, always performed very late at night when the lyrics are few and the alcohol is plenty!

The night was an overwhelming success. Nameless was busy, the crowd was having fun and the drinks were flowing! For those of you who missed it, never fear; The Akelian Circus will be performing every second Sunday night at Nameless, so hang on to those Myprodols – your Monday morning is going to need them.

Around midnight everyone called it a night, and after a last drink and some quick packing up of instruments and sound equipment, most of us headed home, not quite ready to face the Monday but hey…

No rest for the wicked.

Until next time. Peace.


1 Comment

Filed under The Chronicles

One response to “Sound Effects and Overdramatics

  1. Rox

    Wow lou lou. . This is truely amazing. I didnt wanna stop reading. C ya soon huni pie xxx much love

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